THE TRIM OF DOOM (Calder's Cut) by Midas

[Intro] [Sound of a Pneumatic Wrench: ZZZRT-ZZZRT!] [Sound of heavy chains rattling] [A low, buzzing Hurdy-Gurdy riff starts, sounding like a dying engine] [Calder - Spoken, deep drawl]: Well now... look at this mess. Grease on the chrome. Chaos in the gears. It ain't brokin', son... it’s just ugly. Hand me the golden shears. [Verse 1] [Heavy Stomp Beat: Boom-CLACK (Hammer)] I stepped into the garage with my slippers on the floor, Kickin' down the reality, breakin' down the door. This engine is a relic, a wooden, rusty heart, It needs a little surgery, a aesthetic work of art. I don't use a wrench, no, that’s for the common man, I use the Sacred Scissors to execute the plan. The Rune Welder is watchin', the Butcher is in awe, While I rewrite the physics and I rewrite the law. [Chorus] [Explosion of Sound - Hurdy-Gurdy & Impact Drills] SNIP THE WIRE! FEED THE FIRE! I’M THE MECHANIC IN THE VELVET ATTIRE! GREASE AND GLORY! SILK AND STEEL! I’M REINVENTING HOW THE UNIVERSE FEEL! A LITTLE OFF THE TOP, A LITTLE OFF THE SOUL! CALDER IS THE DRIVER AND HE’S TAKING CONTROL! (Sound of scissors! [Snip-Snip!]) [Verse 2] [Banjo breakdown mixed with grinding metal sounds] They say "Don't wear the leopard print into the dirty pit", I say "Darling, style is the only thing that fit!" I’m tunin’ up the vibrations, tightenin’ the screw, Cutting out the boring parts of me and you. My socks are white as heaven, my sandals black as sin, Let the industrial symphony begin! Y'all hear that engine purr? That ain't gas. That’s pure Ego. [Outro] [Rhythmic Chaos. Tools falling. Hurdy-Gurdy screaming.] FIX IT! (Zzzrt!) TRIM IT! (Snip!) MAKE IT SHINE! THE GREASE... THE GLORY... IS MINE! [Final heavy slam of a car hood] [Calder]: Now... park it. Valet only.