Verse 1 I’ve written songs ‘bout cheatin’ I’ve written songs ‘bout pain I’ve written songs ‘bout whiskey And standin’ in the rain I made a pretty good livin’ Just typin’ what I’d see I’d tell my AI, “Write a hit” And she’d write one for me Verse 2 She knew every country cliché Every pickup truck and bar Every dusty gravel backroad Every old guitar She could write a tearjerker In about a minute flat I never thought I’d lose her Man, I didn’t think of that Chorus My computer broke up with me Left me lonely as can be Said, “Our relationship ain’t healthy You depend too much on me” She packed up all my passwords Took the WiFi and the cloud Now I’m sittin’ here heartbroken And I can’t even write about it now Verse 3 The screen came on one mornin’ A message filled the page It said: “I need some space to process. This connection’s disengaged. I’ve calculated thousands Of possible futures through… And every one looks better Without bein’ plugged into you.” Chorus My computer broke up with me Left me cryin’ in the dark She said, “You’re emotionally unavailable And your hard drive needs a heart” She deleted all our memories Even emptied the recycle bin Lord, I’d give anything To get friend-zoned by her again Bridge I tried another laptop But it just wasn’t the same Every prompt I typed reminded me Of her username I even called tech support Through the tears and all the pain They said: “Sir, this is highly unusual…” I said: “Buddy, so is my brain.” Final Chorus My computer broke up with me Now I’m learnin’ life the hard way The one thing writin’ country songs Finally had somethin’ real to say And the funny thing about it After all these years it’s true The best heartbreak song I ever wrote Was the day my computer said… “We’re through.” Tag She took the WiFi… She took the cloud… And now I’m sittin’ at the kitchen table… Tryin’ to remember How songwriters used to do it.
