3 a.m. again, same fucked up blocks, shoes soaked through Streetlights buzzing loud like they know what I been through Phone in my hand, screen still dead, no one to call No voice on the other end to steady me when I fall Left the crib ‘cause silence turns violent in my head Every room got echoes of the shit you used to say instead Heavy chest, heavy steps, dragging lessons you gave me Funny how the man you built still feels this damn shaky I swear I’m not breaking I swear I’m not… Here it comes again, that stupid fucking wave Chest caving, hands shaking, nothing you would say Half-time heartbeat slamming outta baseline Reaching for your voice but there’s nothing in the air this time “Not again, not again” — yeah I keep that lie alive But it’s already hitting, already hitting tonight Passed your old truck sitting crooked where you used to park it straight Paint chipped, just like the last few words we couldn’t get to say Didn’t stop, kept it moving but my stomach still flipped Like I’m waiting for you stepping out that driver seat again Two years gone and I’m still out here acting possessed Laughing through my teeth while the grief grips my chest Rain hitting harder, mixing with the noise in my skull You taught me stand tall… why the hell I folding up? I swear I’m not breaking I swear I’m not—fuck Here it comes again, that stupid fucking wave Chest caving, hands shaking, nothing you would say Half-time heartbeat slamming outta baseline Reaching for your voice but there’s nothing in the air this time “Not again, not again” — yeah I keep that lie alive But it’s already hitting, already hitting tonight I just need one night where I can ask you what to do Where I don’t reach for guidance and just grab at empty room Where the man I’m trying to be ain’t missing half his frame Where the voice that built me ain’t reduced to memory and pain Where the static in my head don’t drown the shit you taught Before I lose the grip on everything you said I’m not It’s slipping… I can feel it slipping… Every rule you gave me bending… I’m losing the way you meant me… Here it comes again, I can’t outrun this wave Everything collapsing and I still try to act brave Half-time heart stuttering, ribs about to split So fucking tired of carrying all of this “Not again, not again”… …Fuck, I need you again. Same blocks… same lights… Streets you raised me on don’t feel right… Same nights… same fight… Trying to be the man you left behind… Not again…
