How can I begin to love myself When every time I face the mirror A stranger looks back at me How can I love myself When my own body feels so wrong These pills have turned my feelings up Like every thought’s without a skin I cry at songs I used to skip And laugh at things that ache within My heart is changing faster than Anything my eyes can see I’m stuck between the “her” I am And who the world still thinks I’ll be How can I love myself When even society itself Seems to hate those like me How can I be proud of who I am When all I get back in return is hate The odd looks The insults I practice walking down the street Rehearse my voice under my breath But panic rises in my chest Each time I’m seen as someone else Their eyes undress my every move They see a mask, I feel a girl I shrink into an empty space Between my body and my world I clutch my coat around my frame Pretend I’m smaller than I am I map escape routes in my head From every shop and every tram My hands are shaking at the till I hear my old name in their tone I smile, I nod, I pay, I leave And cry the whole way home How can I expect to be loved If I can’t even love myself Who’d ever want to hold this shell And see the woman underneath I’m caught between the fear I feel And the girl I know I am How can I expect to be loved When I’m still learning who I am But in the quiet of my room When all the noise has slipped away I place my hand above my heart And hear her whisper, “I’ll still stay” These tears are proof that I’m alive That I am feeling as I grow One day the mirror’s gonna shine The woman only I now know How can I expect to be loved If I can’t yet trust my own heart But every step, and every pill Is one more chance to make a start Maybe someday someone will see The girl I’m fighting to set free So ‘til that day, I’ll learn to hold The woman only I can be
