[Intro – fast dirty punk riff, pounding drums, aggressive bass] [Verse 1 – fast melodic female punk vocal] Saturday afternoon, street fair in the square, Food trucks, folding tables, too many fucking people everywhere. Paula's working overtime, nose glued to the ground, Checking every dropped chip within a hundred metres around. Then she finds a table with a funny plastic thing, Red and white and unattended, cable dangling underneath. Gives it one suspicious sniff, nose against the grille— One tiny little Beagle noise comes out loud enough to kill. [Pre-Chorus – guitars building] She jumps back. Stares it down. Ears go up. Feet hit ground. I know that fucking look. This isn't curiosity now. [Chorus – huge aggressive punk vocal] THE MEGAPHONE! PAULA'S FOUND AN ENEMY! THE MEGAPHONE! AND IT'S GOT NOWHERE TO FLEE! SHE BARKS ONCE! IT BARKS BACK! TEN FUCKING TIMES AS LOUD! NOW PAULA'S DECLARED WAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD! [Fast guitar riff] [Verse 2 – rapid energetic punk vocal] She circles left, it doesn't move, circles right, still fucking rude. Little growl, another bark, feedback squeals and sets her off. Now she's bouncing on the lead, telling plastic what she thinks, Every bark comes through the speaker before anybody blinks. People laughing, phones come out, Paula couldn't give a shit, She's discovered amplification— and she's fucking furious with it. [Pre-Chorus – aggressive build] BARK! Echoes back. BARK! Even louder. Every time she challenges it, the bastard gets more powerful! [Chorus – heavier] THE MEGAPHONE! PAULA'S FOUND AN ENEMY! THE MEGAPHONE! A TECHNOLOGICAL ATROCITY! SHE BARKS ONCE! IT BARKS BACK! THE WHOLE FUCKING STREET CAN HEAR! SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE SCIENCE— [Shout-sung] BUT SHE KNOWS SHE FUCKING HATES IT HERE! [Instrumental Break – frantic punk guitar, distorted bass, crashing drums] [Verse 3 – dense rapid shout-punk] Someone finally grabs the thing, tries to lift it from the stand, Paula follows every movement like she's got a fucking plan. Speaker left! Beagle left! Speaker right! Beagle right! I've got twenty pounds of fury trying to start another fight! No distraction! Treat rejected! Apparently we're past that stage! Paula's got a plastic nemesis and nothing stops Beagle rage! Then the guy who owns the thing makes one catastrophic choice— Points the microphone at Paula just in time to catch her voice! [Band slams into half-time] [Breakdown – heavy punk rhythm, aggressive shout-singing] ONE BARK! WHOLE STREET! EVERY FUCKING HEAD TURNS ROUND! TWO BARKS! FULL BLAST! SHAKING EVERY TABLE DOWN! THREE BARKS! PAULA'S LOST IT! NOW SHE'S PULLING AT THE LEAD! [Growled shout] SHE HAS BECOME THE LOUDEST FUCKING BEAGLE IN THE STREET! [Music accelerates] [Final Verse – relentless rapid punk vocal] Now she's barking! People cheering! Megaphone is disappearing! Guy retreats! Paula advances! Apparently she's taking chances! Lead goes tight! I pull her back! She's still launching her attack! Twenty metres! Still complaining! Little fucking lungs remaining! Food stalls! People! Saturday crowd! Nothing in this square has ever been this fucking loud! Finally the speaker's packed away, the battlefield is clear— Paula stands victorious, the enemy disappeared! [Final Chorus – massive triumphant punk vocal] THE MEGAPHONE! PAULA BEAT THE ENEMY! THE MEGAPHONE! FORCED INTO RETREAT! SHE BARKED ONCE! IT BARKED BACK! THAT WAS ITS FIRST MISTAKE! YOU DON'T AMPLIFY A BEAGLE [Harsh shout] IF YOU VALUE YOUR FUCKING DAY! THE MEGAPHONE! GONE WITHOUT A TRACE! PAULA WON A FIGHT WITH SOMETHING THAT NEVER KNEW IT WAS IN ONE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE! [Final frantic guitar riff] [Outro – energetic melodic vocal] Walk home, tail held high, voice a little rough. Paula beat technology today. Apparently that's enough.
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