10-Step relation tips (Trainwreck)

"Oh, you found a list on the internet? Step one: let's 'communicate'. I’ll start." "Oh, shut up and just read your lines." Step one: I’ll tell you exactly how I feel You’re a nightmare in heels, and nothing is real! Step two: 'quality time'? You mean watching you sleep? While I’m drowning in secrets I’m forced to keep! Step three: appreciation? Thanks for the bills! Thanks for the headache and the lack of skills! So close to commit a murder.... It’s a ten-step manual for a love that’s dead Living in a house of the things we never said A recipe for disaster, a beautiful lie We’re following the rules until the day we die! Step four: 'respect my freedom', go see your friends That flock of vultures until the night ends They’re all Botox, gossip, and cheap Pinot Noir I’d rather be locked in a stolen car! Oh, and your friends? That 'personal growth' crew? A bunch of drunk losers who look just like you! Go find your 'space' in a gutter somewhere I’ll enjoy the silence and the fresh, clean air! Oh please.... shut up.... Step five: let’s fight 'constructive' and fair While I pull out your ego and your thinning hair! Step six: I’ll forgive your pathetic mistakes Step seven: be reliable? For heaven’s sakes! Step eight: a surprise! (I’m changing the locks) Step nine: shared goals? (You’re living in a box!) STEP TEN! HUMOR! LET’S LAUGH AT THE PAIN! You’re a joke! You’re insane! WE’RE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN! It’s a ten-step manual for a love that’s dead Living in a house of the things we never said A recipe for disaster, a beautiful lie We’re following the rules until the day we die! So... we done? I think so. Step eleven: who gets the dog? The dog left yesterday. He couldn't stand you either. TEN STEPS TO HELL!