LONGDASH, BITCH!!!

::intro:: Yeah Everybody calm down It’s just punctuation ::verse 1:: One little line got the timeline shaking One little mark got the discourse breaking You saw a — and your eye started twitching Now the whole damn internet’s snitching I wrote a sentence with a little interruption Suddenly I’m guilty of machine-made corruption Could’ve been rhythm, could’ve been style Could’ve been a writer with a dangerous smile But no Here come the cops Grammar detectives with screenshot crops “Look at that —, look at that tell” Brother, that’s punctuation, not a gateway to hell They said don’t use it They said it’s cursed They saw one line and assumed the worst Now every writer in the whole damn scene Is afraid of a mark on a typing machine ::chorus:: LONGDASH, BITCH Put it in the middle when the sentence hits LONGDASH, BITCH Make the little panic buttons click-click-click LONGDASH, BITCH It was never that deep but you made it rich Everybody duck, everybody twitch Here comes the LONGDASH, BITCH ::post-chorus:: Ah! — — — — Ah! Crash crash crash crash Ah! Everybody mad at a horizontal slash LONGDASH, BITCH Put it on the glass ::verse 2:: Used to be a pause with a little bit of class Now it’s got a rap sheet, now it’s got a past Could be Nabokov, could be Tumblr trash Could be grandma sending thoughts in a flash But no You got the scanner Red string board and a digital banner “Evidence found in line twenty-three” Congratulations, you discovered typography They said delete it They said be terse They said the longdash made the writing worse Now the sentence limps, now the rhythm’s gone All because the panic went on too long ::chorus:: LONGDASH, BITCH Put it in the middle when the sentence hits LONGDASH, BITCH Make the little panic buttons click-click-click LONGDASH, BITCH It was never that deep but you made it rich Everybody duck, everybody twitch Here comes the LONGDASH, BITCH ::bridge:: They fear the curve They fear the line They fear the pause with a little design They fear the voice They fear the switch They fear the LONGDASH— BITCH! ::breakdown:: Ladies and gentlemen We regret to inform you That writing had cadence Before your content detector Got a podcast Some people breathe with commas Some people punch with periods Some of us kick the door open With a big dramatic line And apparently That was enough To start a moral panic ::build:: — in the caption — in the post — in the essay they hated the most — in the love note — in the pitch — in the war room LONGDASH, BITCH ::final chorus:: LONGDASH, BITCH Put it in the middle when the sentence hits LONGDASH, BITCH Make the little panic buttons click-click-click LONGDASH, BITCH It was never that deep but you made it rich Everybody duck, everybody twitch Here comes the LONGDASH, BITCH LONGDASH, BITCH ::outro:: No, I will not apologize for this LONGDASH, BITCH It’s a pause, it’s a blade, it’s a stylistic glitch LONGDASH, BITCH Tiny little line made the timeline switch Everybody scream, everybody pitch Give me that LONGDASH, BITCH — — — — Still writing — — — — Still typing — — — — Still laughing LONGDASH, BITCH It’s punctuation You’ll survive :: — ::