Scared of the Whole Damn World

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V5.5

[Verse 1 – Morning]
Woke up this mornin’, my covers were so scary to peel.
My alarm clock just screeched and that fear was real.
The sun peeked through the window, gave me quite a scare,
Even my own reflection casts me into despair.
I tiptoed past the cat, that creepy ass little fuckin' shit.
Pourin’ his kitty chow traumatized me cause his bowl looks like a bottomless pit.
The toast popped up, nearly jumped outta my skin.
I’m a grown man, y’all, scared of the stubble on my own damn chin.
[Chorus]
I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet.
Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just too damn scared to pull it. 
From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears.
I’m scared of everything y'all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs.
[Verse 2 – Midday]
Went outside, thought I’d get some fresh air and fear.
The wind blew my hair back and I thought a twister was near even though the coast was clear.
Saw a bird fly, thought it threatened to chop off my head.
Even the neighbors Shiba inu takin' a shit wanted me dead.
Wife called my name, she scares the fuck outta me most of all.
Kids ran past screamin’ with a caterpillar in hand and I began to bawl.
The damn shadow behind me looked as if it would chase me for days.
I’m just a fuckin' bitch ass dude yeah I'm just a pussy in a billion ways.
[Chorus]
I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet.
Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just too damn scared to pull it. 
From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears.
I’m scared of everything y'all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs.
[Bridge – Evening]
Turned on the TV, the news is so horrific and commercials always make me jump.
Even John Redcorn from King of the Hill makes my ass involuntarily dump.
Cooked some spaghetti, the noodles tried to ring my neck.
I think the garlic bread is burning but I'm too scared to check.
[Verse 3 – Nighttime]
Bedtime creepin’ up, and I really dread the night,
Pillows look sketchy gladly they prolly won't kill me but my terrifying sleeping wife definitely just might.
Cat’s in the corner, eyes glowing like two little glowing demonic assholes,
I’m prayin’ the dark don’t chew my body whole and torture my poor damn soul.
The kids are tucked in, but I can still here the little one snore.
I always whimper myself to sleep, hoping I wake up not being a bitch anymore.
Too scared of my eyelids fusing shut as I sleep, I lay there tryin' to steady my breath.
Even that freaked me out I'll be a bitch being scared until the day of my death.
[Final Chorus – Outro]
I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet.
Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just too damn scared to pull it. 
From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears.
I’m scared of everything y’all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs.
I’m scared of everything, fuck man I can’t stand being so scared, God damn.
…Maybe one day I'll be a brave and noble man but the idea proves I'll always be the scared lil' fuckin' bitch that I am.
Scared of this, scared of that, hell I'm even scared of the shit that fear made me shat.
Scared of the grass, scared of my own damn ass, scared of the...wait, what the fuck was that?!?!
[Chorus]
I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet.
Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just to damn scared to pull it. 
From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears.
I’m scared of everything, y'all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs.

3664/7500

[Verse 1 – Morning] Woke up this mornin’, my covers were so scary to peel. My alarm clock just screeched and that fear was real. The sun peeked through the window, gave me quite a scare, Even my own reflection casts me into despair. I tiptoed past the cat, that creepy ass little fuckin' shit. Pourin’ his kitty chow traumatized me cause his bowl looks like a bottomless pit. The toast popped up, nearly jumped outta my skin. I’m a grown man, y’all, scared of the stubble on my own damn chin. [Chorus] I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet. Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just too damn scared to pull it. From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears. I’m scared of everything y'all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs. [Verse 2 – Midday] Went outside, thought I’d get some fresh air and fear. The wind blew my hair back and I thought a twister was near even though the coast was clear. Saw a bird fly, thought it threatened to chop off my head. Even the neighbors Shiba inu takin' a shit wanted me dead. Wife called my name, she scares the fuck outta me most of all. Kids ran past screamin’ with a caterpillar in hand and I began to bawl. The damn shadow behind me looked as if it would chase me for days. I’m just a fuckin' bitch ass dude yeah I'm just a pussy in a billion ways. [Chorus] I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet. Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just too damn scared to pull it. From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears. I’m scared of everything y'all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs. [Bridge – Evening] Turned on the TV, the news is so horrific and commercials always make me jump. Even John Redcorn from King of the Hill makes my ass involuntarily dump. Cooked some spaghetti, the noodles tried to ring my neck. I think the garlic bread is burning but I'm too scared to check. [Verse 3 – Nighttime] Bedtime creepin’ up, and I really dread the night, Pillows look sketchy gladly they prolly won't kill me but my terrifying sleeping wife definitely just might. Cat’s in the corner, eyes glowing like two little glowing demonic assholes, I’m prayin’ the dark don’t chew my body whole and torture my poor damn soul. The kids are tucked in, but I can still here the little one snore. I always whimper myself to sleep, hoping I wake up not being a bitch anymore. Too scared of my eyelids fusing shut as I sleep, I lay there tryin' to steady my breath. Even that freaked me out I'll be a bitch being scared until the day of my death. [Final Chorus – Outro] I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet. Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just too damn scared to pull it. From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears. I’m scared of everything y’all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs. I’m scared of everything, fuck man I can’t stand being so scared, God damn. …Maybe one day I'll be a brave and noble man but the idea proves I'll always be the scared lil' fuckin' bitch that I am. Scared of this, scared of that, hell I'm even scared of the shit that fear made me shat. Scared of the grass, scared of my own damn ass, scared of the...wait, what the fuck was that?!?! [Chorus] I’m scared of the whole damn world, from my toes right up to my mullet. Everything gives me the heebie jeebies except the doorknob I'm just to damn scared to pull it. From the coffee pot rumblin' to the mailman’s tiny shorts he wears. I’m scared of everything, y'all, I'm even scared of my own pubic hairs.

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