[Theme Tune Intro – cheesy synth + canned claps] 🎶 Made of plastic, naughty fun distracting! 🎶 [from the lack of dress—oh yes!] [Verse 1 – sitcom gag rhythm] She’s erratic, way too active, Scrolling through the marketplace! [“Awww” laugh track swell] Self-sabotage, oh my gosh, Her entourage thinks she’s on Broadway! [applause, goofy sax riff] [Chorus – over-the-top jingle] Said she’s a star, had it all— Or is that half a lie? [laughter, rimshot] Guess you missed the call, You can’t catch everything! [Bridge – wink at the camera] CLICK! READY! ACTION! [flash sound, laugh track burst] What a mistake—oh boy, what a take! [Sitcom Tagline Ending – cheesy singalong] Pack your suitcase, You came in last place! In this loveless place… [freeze-frame, canned cheering] 🎶 Lonely fame, what a mistake! 🎶 [studio applause outro]
