(Verse 1) I still trip on your sneakers by the front door Haven’t had the heart to move them from the floor Your cereal bowl is waiting on the counter by the sink I pour two cups of coffee but there’s one I never drink Your jacket’s on the chair where you left it that night Half-zipped, half-laughed, in the porch light They say it was a moment, just a flicker, just bad luck But time has stopped forever in this house that you grew up (Pre-Chorus) There’s a silence in the hallway Where you used to sing off-key Every corner of this home Holds a piece of you and me (Chorus) How do I be a mother With no hand to hold? How do I tell your story If you’ll never grow old? I still set one extra place At the table, out of habit Talk to shadows on the wall Like you’re gonna answer back I keep folding all your clothes Knowing you’re not coming soon I am living with a heartbeat Pacing in an empty room (Verse 2) Your birthday came and went like a quiet storm I baked your favorite cake, but it never got warm Candles stood like question marks, waiting to be lit I sang the song alone, my voice broke on every bit Your friends still send me pictures when they all hang out I smile with my phone turned off, then let the lights go out I watch the years you’ll never see scroll past on my screen You were supposed to be the future, not a faded, frozen scene (Pre-Chorus) Your hoodie’s on my pillow So I can breathe you in at night I keep your door the way you left it Like you just stepped out of sight (Chorus) How do I be a mother With no hand to hold? How do I tell your story If you’ll never grow old? I still set one extra place At the table, out of habit Talk to shadows on the wall Like you’re gonna answer back I keep folding all your clothes Knowing you’re not coming soon I am living with a heartbeat Pacing in an empty room (Bridge) They say you’re in a better place But I just want you here I’d trade every promised heaven For one more ordinary year One more fight about the curfew One more “Mom, I’ll be alright” One more slam of your old bedroom door To echo through the night If love could build a staircase I’d climb it every day I’d hold you so much tighter Never let you slip away I’d take your place without a question Give my days to watch you live ’Cause what is life to any mother If she has nothing left to give? (Chorus) How do I be a mother With no hand to hold? How do I tell your story If you’ll never grow old? I still save all of your drawings On the fridge, they’re turning blue Every crayon-colored spaceship Was a world I dreamed for you And I’m stuck here in the doorway Between your was and never-will With a heart that keeps on breaking In a house that’s standing still (Outro) Your bed is made, your light is on Just in case you’re coming home I say goodnight into the darkness So neither of us sleeps alone You may be gone from every photograph And every crowded afternoon But I will be your mother In this silent, aching room Until my last breath leaves me I’ll be talking to your ghost Loving you with all this sorrow Because I lost what I loved.
