They told me in Old Town, “Jack, you can’t dance,” I said, “Watch this magic if you give me a chance!” I stepped on the floor with a grin wide and proud— Took one step too many and fell into the crowd. So I spin to the left, and I hop to the right, Do the One-Legged Waltz every Saturday night. If you hear a thunk-thunk, don’t call it a fault— That’s just me makin’ rhythm in the One-Legged Waltz! Now I ain’t got the balance of them fancy-foot folks, But I’ve got determination, and a bag full of jokes. You lead with what’s left when the right leg ain’t there, And pray the good Lord keeps you off the floorboards and chairs! I spin to the left, and I hop to the right, Do the One-Legged Waltz ’til they turn off the light. If you hear a knock-knock, that ain’t no assault— That’s my wooden leg tapping through the One-Legged Waltz! I once asked a sweetheart if she’d dance with me slow— She laughed and said, “Honey, I’ll give it a go.” We circled the tavern in a lopsided glide, She waltzed on the floor, I waltzed mostly to the side. I spin to the left, and I hop to the right, Do the One-Legged Waltz with pure delight. If you hear a clack-clack, don’t file a report— It’s my peg leg complainin’ that the steps are too short! Now listen, young Bluffers, if you’re feelin’ down— Take the dance you’re given, not the dance folks think profound. If life takes a limb, you still got a beat— Just stomp what you’ve got, and keep light on your feet! Now the Bluff Tavern regulars know what’s in store, When they hear me shout, “Make some room on the floor!” ’Cause the band strikes a waltz and the night starts to glow— And I whirl like a hero… well, a hero kinda slow. I spin to the left, and I hop to the right, Do the One-Legged Waltz with all my might. If you hear a boom-boom, relax, it’s just me— Doin’ the One-Legged Waltz like it’s meant to be!
