life's bright ray

My amazing son, my life's bright ray, From mummy's heart these words I say, You are a strength a shining light, An inspiration pure and bright, My love for you a boundless sea, Forever yours eternally. Forgive me love for shadows cast, For dreams of motherhood that passed, Unrealized and left behind, A different path for us to find, A feeling deep I can't erase, I see your face, I feel disgrace, A choice I made with heart in pain, To nanny's home through sun and rain. Was born of love so fierce and true, For burdens you were forced to view, I saw the echoes of my past, The fear for you that held me fast. The shadowing that scarred my soul, The darkness that took it's cruel toll, Drugs were a shield a numbing haze, Through torturous and broken days, I couldn't bear for you to know, The ravaged path that I'd let go, It was to heal, to rise a new, To find the strength return to you. I reached for help a fragile hand, To cleanse myself and make a stand, But helping hands grew cold and hard, And shattered hopes and left me scarred. The systems struck a brutal blow, Sent spiraling and down I go, The demons stirred from depths unseen, The haunting ghosts forever keen. Abuse endured a silent scream, Now echoes in this waking dream, And for regret, will sharply sing, On this, my son, my everything, My love for you a constant flame, Whispers your precious cherished name, I pray one day you'll understand, This broken heart in promised land.