I Hope I Make You Proud [Intro | soft piano | distant vocal texture | intimate male voice] Some days I’m alright… Some days I still reach for my phone. Like I forgot. Like for half a second… you’re still here. Yeah. [Verse 1 | restrained emotional rap | lyrical | close-mic | gradually building] I got a thousand things to tell you and nowhere to send ’em, So I talk into the ceiling like somehow Heaven’ll get ’em. I’ve been learning grief ain’t something that you finish and bury, It just changes how it hurts and what you’re willing to carry. I’ll be laughing with the family, then a memory interrupts, One second I’m completely fine, the next I’m coming undone. And everybody says they understand, maybe they do, But they don’t know what the silence sounds like when it’s you. I still catch myself thinking, “Mom would’ve loved this,” Then that sentence hits my chest and suddenly I can’t function. There’s accomplishments I wanted just to put in your hands, Like, “Look, I finally did it — I became who you said I can.” Now success got a shadow that follows wherever I go, ’Cause the person I wanted to show it to won’t get to know. And I know you knew me better than the face that I wore, You could hear “I’m doing fine” and know there was something more. So I’m trying to be stronger without turning to stone, Trying to carry what you taught me while I’m learning alone. And if there’s any way you see me through these clouds right now… I just hope… I hope I make you proud. [Pre-Chorus | drums begin rising | soulful backing vocals] I’m still standing… Even when I don’t know how. I’m still fighting… With your voice inside me now. And every road I walk, Every dream I’m chasing down… Mama, if you can see me— [CHORUS | HUGE soulful chorus | full drums | stacked vocals | gospel-soul energy without choir | soaring female/male harmony] I HOPE I MAKE YOU PROUD! I hope you see the man I’m trying to become right now! When I’m barely holding on, When the whole world weighs me down, I hear your love inside my heart And I refuse to let it drown. I HOPE I MAKE YOU PROUD! Every broken piece of me is still becoming something now! If Heaven’s got a window, I hope you’re looking through the clouds— I don’t need the whole world cheering… Mama… I just hope I make you proud. [Verse 2 | drums pull back | deeper emotion | intricate internal rhymes] I’ve been thinking about the things that I considered important, All the arguments and grudges I was giving my mornings. Funny how death rearranges every shelf in your mind, Makes the shit you thought was urgent feel like wasting your time. Now I hug a little longer, say “I love you” before leaving, ’Cause goodbye became a word that I got reasons for fearing. And I hate that losing you is what it took me to learn That tomorrow ain’t a promise, it’s a privilege earned. There are nights I get angry — yeah, I know that sounds selfish, But grief doesn’t come polite, it kicks the door off the hinges. I’ve asked questions with no answers, screamed prayers into darkness, Trying to make peace with a wound that refuses to bargain. But you raised me with a backbone, so I bend, I don’t break, Even carrying an absence that gets heavier with age. I got people that depend on me, I know what I gotta do, And sometimes being strong just means admitting I miss you. So when life tries to convince me I’m too tired to continue, I remember all the pieces of myself I got from you. Every stubborn little spark, every fight that I found— That’s you. And I swear I won’t waste it. I’m gonna make you proud. [Bridge | piano + strings | cracked emotional vocal | drums slowly building] If I could get one minute… Just one… I wouldn’t ask for answers. Wouldn’t ask why you had to go. I’d just hug you. Tell you I love you. Tell you I’m trying. Tell you I’m sorry for every time I thought we had more time. And before that minute ended… I’d ask you one thing— “Are you proud of me?” [FINAL CHORUS | MASSIVE | full instrumentation | layered soulful vocals | emotional peak] I HOPE I MAKE YOU PROUD! I hope you see the man I’m fighting to become right now! Through the failures, through the fear, Through the days I wanted out, I kept moving with your memory When my strength was running down! I HOPE I MAKE YOU PROUD! Every scar became a reason I kept pushing through somehow! And if Heaven’s got a window, I hope you’re looking through the clouds! Let the whole damn world forget my name, I could live without the sound— If I knew somewhere above me… My mama… Was proud. [Outro | instruments fall away to piano] I’m still trying, Mom. Every day. I hope I make you proud.
