I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I think there is something wrong with my liver. But I refuse to see a doctor. Out of spite. You see, you see, I have never managed to become anything. Not even spiteful. Not even a single, honest page. But do you know what your "reason" and your "progress" really are? You are so sure that a crystal palace is the answer. A perfect, mathematical, rational world! But what if I don't want what is good for me? What if my own, free, unfettered caprice... My own, ridiculous, underground will... Is more important than your entire crystal palace? Because it is! It is the most important advantage! This spite! This chaos! This ability to say... "Two plus two equals five" if I damn well please! That is life! Not your two-plus-two-equals-four arithmetic! I am not arguing for the underground, you understand. I am not arguing for anything at all! That is precisely the point! I have a right to be irrational! I have a right to desire the destruction! Even of my own well-being! Even of the whole world! Just to have the right to desire it! So perhaps... it is better to do nothing. Conscious inertia is better than your fictional, rational, active life. Yes. It is better. I am underground. And you... you are all upstairs. And you will never, ever understand.
