I Hate Sunshine

🎭 I Hate Sunshine (Intro, spoken in a raspy, dramatic cartoon witch voice) “Hmph! I HATE Sunshine! Horrible… wholesome… Sunshine! Ugh… It’s EVERYWHERE! Can’t somebody turn that thing OFF?! Verse 1 🎵 I hate Sunshine… That ridiculous grin… Every time I make a mess… She cleans it up again! I plant bad moods… She grows wildflowers… Who gave that girl All those happy powers?! (Ad-lib: “UGH!”) I stir my potion… Green and mean… She turns my swamp Into something clean! (Ad-lib: “Disgusting!”) ⸻ Pre-Chorus 🎵 I throw a curse… She throws a smile… How’s she been beatin’ me This whole darn while? (Spoken) “It isn’t FAIR!” ⸻ Chorus 🎵 I HATE Sunshine! Horrible, wholesome Sunshine! Bright all day… Won’t go away… Why’s everybody lovin’ Sunshine?! I HATE Sunshine! Laughing, dancing Sunshine! I try to frown… She lifts this town… Someone please… Turn… Her… DOWN! Verse 2 🎵 I summoned thunder… She danced in rain… How does she always Ruin my pain?! I scared the crows… She fed ‘em bread… Now they’re singing songs Inside my head! (Ad-lib: “Traitors!”) I made a monster… Big and tall… She scratched his ears… Now he’s nice to us all! (Spoken) “What kind of nonsense is THIS?!” ⸻ Bridge 🎵 Every spell… Every scheme… Every nightmare… Every dream… Turns into laughter… Turns into light… WHO KEEPS LETTING THIS GIRL WIN?! (Huge theatrical witch laugh) “Fine… Maybe… Just maybe… She’s a LITTLE bit adorable… NO! I DIDN’T SAY THAT!” ⸻ Final Chorus 🎵 I HATE Sunshine! Horrible, wholesome Sunshine! She laughs too loud… Draws every crowd… She’s the brightest thing around! I HATE Sunshine! Can’t escape that Sunshine! Everywhere… She’s always there… (Spoken, defeated) “…I still hate Sunshine…” (Tiny pause) “…Maybe just a little less.”