I’m Leaving Haddonfield!

“I’m Leaving Haddonfield!” [Intro] Alright… Small town… Quiet neighborhood… Seems peaceful. Michael Myers appears at the end of the street… …Nope. I’m moving. ⸻ [Verse 1] It’s Halloween night, I’m handing out treats, Then I see a guy Just standing in the street. White mask, Blue coveralls, Not saying one word… That’s my first red flag, y’all. My friend says, “Let’s go investigate!” Absolutely not! I’m locking every gate. You wanna walk toward The creepy silent dude? I’m walking in the opposite direction At top speed, thank you! ⸻ [Chorus] I’m leaving Haddonfield, Y’all can keep this town! If Michael starts walking, I’m already out! He doesn’t even run, He somehow catches up, I’d like to file A formal complaint because… I’m leaving Haddonfield, Pack my bags tonight! I’m not sticking around To lose a hide-and-seek fight! ⸻ [Verse 2] Every scary movie Makes the same mistake, “Let’s split up!” No, let’s all escape! Why’s the phone line cut? Why’s the power gone? Why is everyone making The worst choices all along? Somebody hears a noise, Heads upstairs instead… I’d be climbing out the window Before the words were said! The closet’s not safe, The basement’s worse, If I hear creepy breathing, I’m reversing first! ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Can somebody explain… Why nobody Ever calls it a night The SECOND things get weird? ⸻ [Chorus] I’m leaving Haddonfield, Y’all have fun with that! If I see that white mask, I’m grabbing my cat! He walks so slow… Yet somehow he’s near… I blink for one second… “HOW’D YOU GET HERE?!” I’m leaving Haddonfield, No debate at all! The safest place tonight Is nowhere near that wall! ⸻ [Bridge] Friend: “Maybe it’s nothing.” Me: “The six-foot guy In the creepy mask?” “…Respectfully… That’s definitely something.” ⸻ [Rap Verse] Checked the hallway, Nobody there, Turn around… Now he’s in the chair. How?! When?! Who approved this speed? He’s got teleportation Hidden up his sleeve. Dropped my keys… Classic scene. I’m suddenly The most uncoordinated I’ve ever been. Finally start the car— It won’t even crank. At this point I’m sending the mechanic a thank-you card in advance! ⸻ [Verse 3] Sun starts rising, I made it through, I’m ordering extra locks, Maybe thirty-two. Motion lights, Doorbell cams, I’m basically turning My house into a fortress plan. Friends ask, “Movie marathon tonight?” Sure! As long as it’s From my couch… With every door locked. ⸻ [Final Chorus] I’m leaving Haddonfield, This is my goodbye! You can keep the spooky streets— I’m not asking why! If Michael comes walking, I’ll already be gone, Watching scary movies With all the lights turned on! I’m leaving Haddonfield, That’s my final say… Because cardio Isn’t part of my Halloween! ⸻ [Outro] “Did you hear that?” Looks out the window… Sees a neighbor taking out the trash. “…Okay… I may have overreacted.” … Neighbor puts on a white painter’s mask. “NOPE!” 🎃🔪😂🏃‍♀️👻