[Intro] Gather 'round, ye Boomers, hear my tale unfold, A titan of finance, the heart of pure fake gold. A born legend, my path's been carved in stone, Lived 'n' loved around the world, now here for the throne! Wanker of the ages, y'old Karens never let me walk alone. [Verse 1] I saved the world in ’08 with a steely gaze, Markets knelt before me in a grateful haze. Turned Canada to Eden, Britain’s rivers gleam, Every coin now echoes my eternal dream. [Chorus] Trust me, I’m your hero, shining through the night! (Choir: "We trust you, we trust you, your glory’s pure delight!") My values glow like beacons, no shadow in my soul! (Choir: "We’ll pay your trust happily, your sight makes us whole!") No, you won’t—taxes gone, I’ve freed you all! (Choir: "Why feed ("False!") dreams to pawns who’ll fall?") My purity’s a fortress, honour never swayed! (Choir: "Dear Lord, has he confessed t'all those deals he’s made?") Hush, sing my name, that's enough from you! (Choir: "Yes, dearest Mark, what you say we Karens do!") [Verse 2] Stopped a train with bare hands, saved a town in fright, Taught ‘em debt by moonlight, showed ‘em fiscal might. My words end recessions, heal the sick with ease, Globe spins on my wisdom—plebs, you all agree! [Chorus] Trust me, I’m your hero, shining through the night! (Choir: "We trust you, we trust you, your glory’s pure delight!") My values glow like beacons, no shadow in my soul! (Choir: "We’ll pay your trust happily, your sight makes us whole!") No, you won’t—taxes gone, I’ve freed you all! (Choir: "Why feed ("False!") dreams to pawns who’ll fall?") My purity’s a fortress, honour never swayed! (Choir: "Dear Lord, has he confessed t'all those deals he’s made?") Hush, sing my name, that's enough from you! (Choir: "Yes, dearest Mark, what you say we Karens do!") [Verse 3] Brokered peace with handshakes, markets sing my tune, Statues rise to honour me, under Trump's full moon. No business run, yet jobs bloom where I tread, World’s my canvas, painted by the words I’ve said. [Bridge] Doubters, hush your whispers, my legacy’s secure! I’m the light in tempest, motives ever pure! Choir sings my praises, though they falter now and then, I’ll ascend to legend, save the world again! [Chorus] Trust me, I’m your hero, shining through the night! (Choir: "We trust you, we trust you, your glory’s pure delight!") My values glow like beacons, no shadow in my soul! (Choir: "We’ll pay your trust happily, your sight makes us whole!") No, you won’t—taxes gone, I’ve freed you all! (Choir: "Why feed ("False!") dreams to pawns who’ll fall?") My purity’s a fortress, honour never swayed! (Choir: "Dear Lord, has he confessed t'all those deals he’s made?") Hush, sing my name, that's enough from you! (Choir: "Yes, dearest Mark, what you say we Karens do!") [Outro] Raise your voice in worship, let my anthem soar, This banker needs you wankers just once more! I’ll stride into the Commons, values runnin' dry, Showered with glory, the kind my money can't buy! [instrumental] This glory can't be bought--I know, for I tried. But secrets still I hold, some Jiz-lane wisdom that I pried. Bitch said, "Mark, take this note so you'll remember when you gloat:" "One day those girls will be castin' their first vote!" [instrumental]
