[Intro, Jangly guitar] Ohhh yeah, another grey sky special [Verse 1] Woke up late, made a cuppa, burned the toast again Blamed it on the Tories, then blamed it on the rain Muttered “typical,” like it's a sacred spell Moaning's a sport, and we're doing quite well [Chorus, Anthemic] Mind the gap—and your feelings, mate Form a queue even if it’s late Say you’re fine when you're clearly not Smile politely while your soul rots [Verse 2] Pub at four, pint in hand, full of pride Talk football rage, but emotions? We hide Crumpets dry, but so’s our banter Passive aggression is our favourite answer [Chorus, Bigger harmonies] Mind the gap—and your feelings, mate Pretend you're posh while you moan 'bout fate Drive on the left but think we're right Complain about sun, then hate the night [Bridge, Slight slowdown] (Ohhh...) No sugar? That’s an international crime Too polite to say it, but it’s ruined my time (Ahhh...) We’ll write a letter, never send it Then watch Bake Off and just end it [Chorus, Final – Full band] Mind the gap—and your feelings, mate Don’t show joy, it might inflate Sip your tea with a judgmental glance Call it culture, call it "stance" [Outro, Guitar fading out] God save the queen... of sarcasm We’re alright... just don’t ask us
