I was never a young warthog But the start of my life was tough too, dawg. Born with an itty bitty willy, that shit got quite silly when I woke up as a grown man and said oh god My willy hasn’t grown an inch since college Or high school Or grade school And before that too Having a tiny willy was just a thing I’d do, I guess. Growing up I didn’t have a doorframe to scratch my height into, it was more of just a ruler, and the scratches would never move. So eventually I’d have to get a ruler after about, oh, say 50 scratchings. But I’d kill to have my wiener grow, even if it’s not long lasting. But I’m done! I’m not ashamed of my small pecker! It’s funny. It makes me laugh and it makes others laugh too, what’s the harm in it? Small dick pride! Isn’t that what everyone’s always been saying? Small dick pride! We laugh at big dicks too, in the media they’re portraying! Small dick pride! Isn’t there room enough for irony? Small dick pride! She says “the big ones hurt inside of me!” So that’s my story, long as it comes. Except for my dick, which, y’know, comes, but very shortly. I don’t know if I’ve expressed that explicitly enough yet but yeah, I’ve got a small one. So what. And for those of you laughing at this song and not with it, I must ask you this question. What if it were you, with a dick that looks like it’s pressed in? Ponder that, young idiots, I’ve said my piece already. Except, my piece and the point I’m making is large, despite my own lack of that descriptor. Anyway, have a nice night.
