[Verse 1] I bought a book with a shiny red cover Big bold letters from some food-blog mother Said, “Anyone Can Cook!” in confident font So I thought to myself, “Well why the heck not?” Got a kid who just turned one last week Can’t say “spoon” but he can definitely shriek If anyone can cook, then that includes you Strap on the apron, let’s make some stew [Pre-Chorus] He said “ba!” I said “Basil!” He said “no!” I said “Cumin!” He threw a cup across the room and I said, “That’s just passion blooming!” [Chorus] Anyone can cook! That’s what the book said! Even if you barely hold Your own little head! Crack the eggs! (Oh no that’s the floor…) Measure flour! (That’s a diaper drawer…) If anyone can cook Then we’re halfway there! Call the fire department Just in case — prepare! [Verse 2] Step one: “Preheat oven to 400.” He turned the knob and just started runnin’ Step two: “Chop onions nice and thin.” He tried to eat one whole with a grin. Wooden spoon became a drumstick Mixing bowl? A helmet real quick Olive oil on the dog, on the cat On the ceiling fan — imagine that. [Pre-Chorus] He said “up!” I said “Stir it!” He said “down!” I said “Whisk it!” He dropped spaghetti in his hair and Screamed like it was linguini Christmas [Chorus] Anyone can cook! That’s what it claims! Even tiny humans With questionable aims! Add some salt! (That’s a whole cup, son…) Set a timer! (He swallowed one…) If anyone can cook Then this counts as cuisine! Is that mashed potatoes Or diaper cream?! [Bridge – dramatic slow build] There’s flour in the vents There’s peas in my shoe The smoke alarm is singing In a terrifying key of “who knew?” The dog is licking gravy Off the baby’s face There’s a carrot in the toaster This has escalated fast But he’s laughing in the wreckage Covered head to toe And honestly I gotta say… That joy is kinda pro [Soft Breakdown] He hands me a wooden spoon Like a knight with a sword Sauce on his cheeks Like war paint from the lord He can’t read the recipe Can’t spell “sauté” But he sure knows how To have a gourmet day [Final Chorus – big and triumphant] Anyone can cook! Maybe that’s true! Maybe it’s less about the food And more about you Burn the toast! Spill the rice! Make a mess And call it “nice!” If anyone can cook Then we already won ‘Cause dinner might be ruined But I cooked with my son [Outro – spoken] Tomorrow we’re trying baking.
