Ain't no gambling man today

Country bumpin, Sludgewave trap, Darkwave, doomed-to-be-happy metal, Gothic, dark humor, power growl

Well, it Seems like, if I leave just one thing to chance, if I let even one little thing slide, then it's a quick slip down that slippery slope, And before I even know it, I'm spiraling frantically out of control, the further down I go the more I push, the bigger risk I take, and even when I have a chance to walk away, for some Damn reason, unbeknown to me, I just throw it all way, so here I am once again, every paycheck it's no longer an if, but a when, yeah always counting down how many days till I get paid again, shit, just like last week, fucking 10 days without anything, or I'll just borrow money from every fucking body again, half my check gone already once again, but as long as I still have something left, I can hit it big and never look back, nothing to really see anyway, just a paper trail of money I've been throwing away, 50,000 dollars last year in the trash just so you know the scope and the 2 years prior to that paint a picture of how I'm out of control, but here we go again, I  just need one good win, but what then, it all goes right back in as I slip further and further into dismay, living down and out, life in disaray, that's how it appears I'm living to other people anyway, based on what they have seen, fuck,  all my secrets have long been on display, I've never tried to hide anything, I guess that is because the moment in every pay cycle when l finally complete the cycle, when every dollar is burned, that's when my peace for some reason returns, for in the last few years I have learned that once I let go everything starts to flow, everything just seems to work out, in fact things always seem to come easy to me, so maybe subconsciously I keep throwing it all away because if I were to have anything then I would want to have it all, but who wants to be buried under all that weight, certainly not I, especially as of late, so I guess that's why I continue to gamble it all away, leaving myself dangling at the end of my rope in this way, coughing on regrets congested in my chest, I gasp for breath as the guilt squeezes tight around my neck, the mistakes are piling up, the disappointments are leaving their marks, the letdowns are finally starting to choke me out, my light is starting to slowly burn out, as I hold myself down, I should have let myself off the hook, instead I tightened my grip up, everyone else is forgiven but that is not an option that I have been given, so I'm just here, at yet another dead end where I've been living, getting hung up on the who what when where and why it all went wrong, trying to figure out who is to blame without saying my own name, making excuses that are hella freakin lame, down on myself in all sorts of ways, the highs are now just temporary relief and last increasingly ever so brief,  but as long as I have one more draw, when it's all or nothing and my backs against the wall, when I'm down and out, when I'm high and never running out, when it's been one thing after another and I've been up and down and up and down again, and  just when it seems I've turned things around,  that is when for whatever reason, unknown to me, I always do the same thing as before, and just throw it all away, like I have no need for it, well that may have been me yesterday, but not today, no I ain't no gambling man today,  although I bet you I will be tomorrow, as soon as I get paid, But not today, no I ain't no gambling man today.  yeah I Int no gambling man today

3451/7500

Well, it Seems like, if I leave just one thing to chance, if I let even one little thing slide, then it's a quick slip down that slippery slope, And before I even know it, I'm spiraling frantically out of control, the further down I go the more I push, the bigger risk I take, and even when I have a chance to walk away, for some Damn reason, unbeknown to me, I just throw it all way, so here I am once again, every paycheck it's no longer an if, but a when, yeah always counting down how many days till I get paid again, shit, just like last week, fucking 10 days without anything, or I'll just borrow money from every fucking body again, half my check gone already once again, but as long as I still have something left, I can hit it big and never look back, nothing to really see anyway, just a paper trail of money I've been throwing away, 50,000 dollars last year in the trash just so you know the scope and the 2 years prior to that paint a picture of how I'm out of control, but here we go again, I just need one good win, but what then, it all goes right back in as I slip further and further into dismay, living down and out, life in disaray, that's how it appears I'm living to other people anyway, based on what they have seen, fuck, all my secrets have long been on display, I've never tried to hide anything, I guess that is because the moment in every pay cycle when l finally complete the cycle, when every dollar is burned, that's when my peace for some reason returns, for in the last few years I have learned that once I let go everything starts to flow, everything just seems to work out, in fact things always seem to come easy to me, so maybe subconsciously I keep throwing it all away because if I were to have anything then I would want to have it all, but who wants to be buried under all that weight, certainly not I, especially as of late, so I guess that's why I continue to gamble it all away, leaving myself dangling at the end of my rope in this way, coughing on regrets congested in my chest, I gasp for breath as the guilt squeezes tight around my neck, the mistakes are piling up, the disappointments are leaving their marks, the letdowns are finally starting to choke me out, my light is starting to slowly burn out, as I hold myself down, I should have let myself off the hook, instead I tightened my grip up, everyone else is forgiven but that is not an option that I have been given, so I'm just here, at yet another dead end where I've been living, getting hung up on the who what when where and why it all went wrong, trying to figure out who is to blame without saying my own name, making excuses that are hella freakin lame, down on myself in all sorts of ways, the highs are now just temporary relief and last increasingly ever so brief, but as long as I have one more draw, when it's all or nothing and my backs against the wall, when I'm down and out, when I'm high and never running out, when it's been one thing after another and I've been up and down and up and down again, and just when it seems I've turned things around, that is when for whatever reason, unknown to me, I always do the same thing as before, and just throw it all away, like I have no need for it, well that may have been me yesterday, but not today, no I ain't no gambling man today, although I bet you I will be tomorrow, as soon as I get paid, But not today, no I ain't no gambling man today. yeah I Int no gambling man today

0/500