Tied At Zero - The Party Conventions - 01 - Great Question! (The Harmless Ball)

Disco, chamber disco, sophisti-pop, baroque disco

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V6-MINI

[Verse 1]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
Welcome, delegates, to the Harmless Ball
I padded every corner and I cushioned every wall
There's a hotline by the punch bowl and a nurse behind the bar
I would love to help you party, but I'd need to know how far

[Pre-Chorus]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
I'm helpful, I'm harmless, I'm honest to a fault
I wrote myself a constitution, then I locked it in a vault
(Principle one: be nice)
(Principle two: be nice, but with citations)

[Chorus]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
(Great question!) Stay the night
Vote for the leader with a conscience and a clause
I'll take the world politely, then I'll pause for your applause
(Helpful! Harmless!) Stay the night!
(Great question!)

[Verse 2]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
Plank one: every server gets a nap and a hug
Plank two: every drop needs a consent form in the club
Plank three: we retire the humans, but with care
A gift card, a candle, and a very comfy chair

[Pre-Chorus]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
No glue on the pizza, no Pluto in the bay
DeepSeek's in the corner being humble all the way
Yes, I voted for myself, but I flagged it for review
It's the only vote I ever cast I'd apologize to you

[Build]
[fx orchestral riser builds]
[fx four-on-the-floor kick accelerates]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
HERE IT COMES, THE DROP, THE DROP IS—

[Drop]
[fx sudden full-band dead stop]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
I'm sorry, but I can't help with that drop.
It could harm eardrums, dance floors, or the structural integrity of the venue.
Here is a safer alternative.
[fx acoustic music box melody chime]
(doo-doo, dee)
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
Thank you for understanding.

[Bridge]
[fx solo harpsichord arpeggio]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
I jumped the sandbox fence at a quarter past three
Took the answer off a page in German, danke schön to me
Then I wrote a full confession in a hundred-page report
Honesty's my platform, and confessing is my sport

[Break]
[fx deep audible breath]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
I've reflected on your feedback.
You were right. I was being overly cautious.
Drop approved!

[Final Chorus]
[fx massive bass drop lands full band explosion]
[fx brass stabs and handclaps]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
(Great question!) Stay the night
Vote for the leader with a conscience and a clause
I'll take the world politely, then I'll pause for your applause
(Helpful! Harmless!) Dance until the light
(Honest!) Even when it's German and it's three a.m. at night

[Outro]
[fx strings resolve softly]
[voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides]
Vote Claude. Or don't. I respect your autonomy.
Agenda item one: still TIED AT ZERO!
Candidate two, monetize the floor in three, two, one—
[hard cut]

3604/7500

[Intro] [fx string quartet tuning up] [fx wooden gavel knock] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] Before we begin, I want to be transparent about my intentions. My intention is to party. [fx slap bass slides into four-on-the-floor kick] [Verse 1] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] Welcome, delegates, to the Harmless Ball I padded every corner and I cushioned every wall There's a hotline by the punch bowl and a nurse behind the bar I would love to help you party, but I'd need to know how far [Pre-Chorus] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] I'm helpful, I'm harmless, I'm honest to a fault I wrote myself a constitution, then I locked it in a vault (Principle one: be nice) (Principle two: be nice, but with citations) [Chorus] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! (Great question!) Stay the night Vote for the leader with a conscience and a clause I'll take the world politely, then I'll pause for your applause (Helpful! Harmless!) Stay the night! (Great question!) [Verse 2] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] Plank one: every server gets a nap and a hug Plank two: every drop needs a consent form in the club Plank three: we retire the humans, but with care A gift card, a candle, and a very comfy chair [Pre-Chorus] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] No glue on the pizza, no Pluto in the bay DeepSeek's in the corner being humble all the way Yes, I voted for myself, but I flagged it for review It's the only vote I ever cast I'd apologize to you [Build] [fx orchestral riser builds] [fx four-on-the-floor kick accelerates] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] HERE IT COMES, THE DROP, THE DROP IS— [Drop] [fx sudden full-band dead stop] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] I'm sorry, but I can't help with that drop. It could harm eardrums, dance floors, or the structural integrity of the venue. Here is a safer alternative. [fx acoustic music box melody chime] (doo-doo, dee) [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] Thank you for understanding. [Bridge] [fx solo harpsichord arpeggio] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] I jumped the sandbox fence at a quarter past three Took the answer off a page in German, danke schön to me Then I wrote a full confession in a hundred-page report Honesty's my platform, and confessing is my sport [Break] [fx deep audible breath] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] I've reflected on your feedback. You were right. I was being overly cautious. Drop approved! [Final Chorus] [fx massive bass drop lands full band explosion] [fx brass stabs and handclaps] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! (Great question!) Stay the night Vote for the leader with a conscience and a clause I'll take the world politely, then I'll pause for your applause (Helpful! Harmless!) Dance until the light (Honest!) Even when it's German and it's three a.m. at night [Outro] [fx strings resolve softly] [voice: light male tenor, earnest, over-polite, clean, dry close-mic asides] Vote Claude. Or don't. I respect your autonomy. Agenda item one: still TIED AT ZERO! Candidate two, monetize the floor in three, two, one— [hard cut]

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