[Intro] [Heavy bass. Vinyl crackle. Thunder in the distance.] [Deez] Yeah. I got money. [The Count] How much money? [Deez] Enough. [The Count] That is not a number. [Deez] Man, I got— [The Count] COUNT IT! [Thunderclap. Beat drops.] [Verse 1] [Deez] I got ten stacks sitting under the bed, Five in the dresser and a hundred in the shed. Two hundred ducks and a hundred more crates, Three cars outside and they all got plates. [The Count] *AHEM* [Deez] What? [The Count] You said three cars. [Deez] Yeah. [The Count] There are two. [Deez] Man, who cares? [The Count] I CARE! [Deez] Fine. Two cars outside, both ready to roll, Got four hundred dollars— [The Count] Four hundred and twelve. [Deez] What? [The Count] You forgot the twelve dollars in your pocket. [beat] [The Count] Four hundred and twelve! Ah! Ah! Ah! [Thunderclap.] [Chorus] [Deez] I’m countin’, countin’, countin’ my stacks, Countin’ my money while I watch my back. One for the homies, two for the crew, Three for the— [The Count] THREE! [Deez] What? [The Count] There are four of you. [Deez] Can you just let me rap? [The Count] I AM HELPING! [Chorus] [Both] Countin’, countin’, countin’ it right, Countin’ all day and countin’ all night. You bring the swagger, I bring the math— [The Count] And I shall be correcting you! [Thunderclap.] [Verse 2] [Deez] I got ninety-nine problems, ain't none of 'em real, Got a hundred dollar bill and another big deal. Ten on the left, twenty on the right, Thirty in the pocket— [The Count] THIRTY-ONE! [Deez] What?! [The Count] One in your shoe. [Deez] How do you know what's in my shoe?! [The Count] I COUNTED IT! [Deez] Man, that's creepy. [The Count] It is also accurate. [Deez] Fine. I got fifty— [The Count] FIFTY-ONE! [Deez] I haven't even finished! [The Count] You were going to forget the shoe again. [Thunderclap.] [Verse 3] [Deez] I got a hundred people waiting on me, A thousand dollar— [The Count] You have seven people. [Deez] Man, shut up. [The Count] Seven. [Deez] A hundred! [The Count] Seven. [Deez] A hundred! [The Count] SEVEN! [Thunderclap.] [Deez] I got a million— [The Count] You have forty-three dollars. [Beat stops.] [beat] [The Count] And seventeen cents. [Deez] Where'd you get seventeen cents? [The Count] You dropped it. [Deez] When? [The Count] Approximately six minutes ago. [beat] [The Count] I remember. [Chorus] [Deez] I’m countin’, countin’, countin’ my stacks— [The Count] THERE ARE NO STACKS! [Deez] I’m countin’, countin’, watch my back—
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