[Intro: Sinister sleigh bells, crushing industrial guitar riff, thunderous drums. Krampus enters with a monstrous gritty laugh.] Ho! Ho! HO! You thought the holidays were safe? HA HA HA! Think again! [Verse 1: KRAMPUS lead. Deep gritty melodic growl, stomping industrial groove, heavy bass.] I got a sack full of trouble And a list full of names Santa lost his patience And he's done playing games He's got a six string screaming And a boot full of coal I got a couple thousand reasons Why you're not getting home The elves went on vacation The reindeer called in sick So we fired up the amplifiers And made the whole North Pole kick! [Pre Chorus: Rising guitar tension, pounding tribal drums, Krampus snarling.] Lock your doors Check your dates Four bad bastards And they're running late! [Chorus: Huge aggressive melodic metal hook, gang shouted responses, full band.] SEASONS BEATINGS! HERE WE COME! Four mad bastards And a whole lotta drums! SEASONS BEATINGS! ALL YEAR LONG! Every damn holiday We're doing it wrong! No peace on earth No silent night TWISTED HOLIDAYS CAME TO FIGHT! [Verse 2: Dirty bass driven groove, Krampus sings with mocking amusement. Thanksgiving bass featured.] Thanksgiving Bob's got an axe And a pilgrim hat The turkey saw him coming Said, I ain't dying like that! He ran across the table Knocked the gravy on the floor Bob said, Get your feathered ass back here! And kicked down the door Grandma grabbed the stuffing Grandpa grabbed the beer Everybody hit the kitchen When that bass came through their ears! [Pre Chorus: Bass and drums pound in unison, Krampus builds into a roar.] Pass the rolls Hide the bird That ain't a dinner bell THAT'S A BATTLE CRY YOU HEARD! [Chorus: Full band, massive gang vocals.] SEASONS BEATINGS! HERE WE COME! Four mad bastards And a whole lotta drums! SEASONS BEATINGS! ALL YEAR LONG! Every damn holiday We're doing it wrong! No peace on earth No silent night TWISTED HOLIDAYS CAME TO FIGHT! [Guitar Solo: SANTA BOB. Filthy screaming guitar shredding over mechanical double kick drums, sleigh bells distorted underneath. Short explosive solo.] [Verse 3: Faster driving groove, wild percussion, Krampus with manic gritty singing.] Then midnight came knocking And the clock struck twelve Old Man Last Year Wasn't feeling too well Here comes New Year's Bob In a diaper and boots Champagne in his bottle And a hell of an attitude He kicked the old man sideways Right across the stage Said, Get your tired ass moving! IT'S A BRAND NEW AGE! [Bridge: Music drops to bass and heavy stomping drums. Krampus sings low and threatening, building to a roar.] Christmas got the monster Thanksgiving got the beast New Year's got a lunatic Who won't let the old year leave Santa's got the guitar And Krampus got the mic You can keep your pretty holidays WE CAME TO RUIN YOUR NIGHT! [Final Chorus: Explosive full band, enormous gang shouted hooks, maximum aggression.] SEASONS BEATINGS! HERE WE COME! Four mad bastards And a whole lotta drums! SEASONS BEATINGS! ALL YEAR LONG! Every damn holiday We're doing it wrong! No peace on earth No silent night TWISTED HOLIDAYS CAME TO FIGHT! [Outro: Crushing synchronized final riff, pounding drums, Krampus growling.] Merry Christmas! Happy Thanksgiving! Happy New Year! NOW GET OFF MY LAWN! [Final distorted guitar hit, abrupt stop.]
