Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I thought it was a little gas A harmless little breeze But now I’m standing frozen here Shaking at the knees I felt a sudden shift inside A warmth I can't ignore And now I gotta walk real straight Right out the lobby door 'Cause I can tell what's goin' on I need new underwear! It's a disaster! I need new underwear! Gettin' messy under there! I used to be so high and dry But now I feel it runnin' down my thigh I need New Underwear! Yeah, I need new underwear! I’m waddling toward the exit sign My stride is getting wide I’m praying that the fabric holds This mess I got inside My friends are asking where I'm off "Hey man, you wanna beer?" I say "I gotta make a call!" And quickly disappear 'Cause it’s not hard to figure out- I need new underwear! It's a disaster! I need new underwear! Didn't make it to the crappa! I used to be so high and dry But now I'm asking God why I need new underwear! You might think that it's funny But it's a tragic state When a spicy lunch and upset tummy Decides your pants' soggy fate So take a lesson from my pain And never trust a fart! Take it from me! I need new underwear! It's a disaster! I need new underwear! new briefs hereafter! I used to be so high and dry But now my crack leaks brown and cries... I need new underwear! Tell 'em boys! In the front, in the back! Yeah, a total breakdown! Need a brand new pack! I’m heading to the department store! In the front, in the back! Cotton blend, maybe somethin' stain-resistant! Oh man.....
