I'd like to thank everyone who came. Both of you. One of you lives here. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. But I've got a song And a second-hand guitar. I've got no agent on speed dial, Just someone asking, “You done in a while?” The bathroom's booked. I'm on tonight. Great acoustics. Terrible light. I sing like someone's listening in. The neighbour knocks. I start again. He bangs in time against the wall. My first percussionist. That's all. I'd love to say I couldn't care. I'd love applause. Let's leave that there. But if the big break doesn't come, I've still got this. Turn it up. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. Still sing the big part Like I'm filling up a bar. A little out of tune, A little after dark. I don't need a million people. You can be a start. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. But I've got a song And a second-hand guitar. No velvet rope, no VIP. The kitchen chair is fine by me. My backstage rider's fairly light: Please leave some milk for me tonight. My friends all know the words by now. They've heard the thing enough, somehow. One gets the chorus slightly wrong. I like his better. It's in the song. I'd love to say I couldn't care. I'd love applause. Let's leave that there. But if the big break doesn't come, I've still got this. Turn it up. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. Still sing the big part Like I'm filling up a bar. A little out of tune, A little after dark. I don't need a million people. You can be a start. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. But I've got a song And a second-hand guitar. (Ooh, look at me) Absolutely nobody. (Ooh, hear me go) One more song before you leave. Sometimes I picture bigger rooms, A thousand voices on my tune. Then someone hums it making tea, And that's enough to ruin me. I keep it casual. “Sounds alright.” Then grin about it half the night. My stupid song was in your head. I'll take that home with me instead. No, go on. You had the chorus right. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. Still sing the big part Like I'm filling up a bar. A little out of tune, A little after dark. I don't need a million people. You can be a start. I'll never be a star. I'll never be a star. But I've got a song And a second-hand guitar. I'll never be a star. But here you are. Here you are. Thank you. You've been lovely. Could somebody help me move the chair?
