**[Verse 1]** Me and Denese got our tickets, bought 'em way back in the spring Two middle-aged mamas ready to hear that sweet boy sing We did our hair, we did our lashes, we squeezed into our tightest blue jeans Left the husbands at the house with chips and the TV screen **[Verse 2]** Denese’s Rod grunted “Have fun tonight Honey” she replied “don't wait up for me" My Dave mumbled somethin' 'bout the news and fell asleep in front of the TV But the second that the lights went down and Cooper hit the stage Two grown women lost their minds and forgot to act their age **[Chorus]** Oh, Cooper Alan, Lord have mercy, what a glorious sight Makes our blokes look like a burnt-out porch light He's got that smile, got that voice, strong biceps & no back hair And suddenly our husbands’ look a little worse for wear Yeah the boys back home have no hope, they ain't got half a chance Cooper Alan's got us actin’ Like teenagers at a dance **[Verse 3]** Now Dave’s a decent fella, and Rod’s not so bad But next to Cooper Alan, honey, they both look kinda sad Dave’s got that dad-bod shuffle, Rod’s got two bung knees And Cooper's up there lookin' like a soothing anti-aging cream **[Chorus]** Oh, Cooper Alan, Lord have mercy, what a glorious sight Makes our blokes look like a burnt-out porch light He's got that smile, got that voice, strong biceps & no back hair And suddenly our husbands’ look a little worse for wear Yeah the boys back home have no hope, they ain't got half a chance Cooper Alan's got us actin’ Like teenagers at a dance **[Bridge]** We ain't leavin' our husbands — no, we'll be home tonight But we might just use the merchandise to cover up the light Don't you worry, boys, we love ya — we will always be right here But Cooper Alan now dominates our playlist For the rest of his career. **[Chorus]** Oh, Cooper Alan, Lord have mercy, what a glorious sight Makes our blokes look like a burnt-out porch light He's got that smile, got that voice, strong biceps & no back hair And suddenly our husbands’ look a little worse for wear Yeah the boys back home have no hope, they ain't got half a chance Cooper Alan's got us actin’ Like teenagers at a dance **[Outro — spoken, giggling]** “Oh lord….look at that sweet Boy!” “I could take him into my bosom….” (Giggling)
