For almost 50 years I lived a lie Wearing all these masks Just to get by Laughing at their jokes While I died inside Trying to be the son They were all so proud to find Church shoes, cheap suits Playing my part Did what I was told Never followed my heart Practiced being “normal” Like it was a play Hoping who I really was Would just go away I was in a very dark place Just wanting all the pain to stop Numbing out with work and noise Waiting for the other shoe to drop I kept looking for something Anything to pull me through But every mirror that I faced Showed a stranger, not the truth Then I found music And it cracked my shell All the feelings I’d been drowning Started ringing like a bell I poured my whole heart in Every word, every line Trying to stitch together The pieces of my mind I hoped that my songs Might help somebody too So they wouldn’t waste a lifetime Hiding like I used to I kept writing and writing Late nights on the floor Whispering my secrets I’d never said before Wrote about my pain My hopes, my fears, my dreams About the girl inside of me Bursting at the seams Every verse a little braver Every chorus, one more tear I was cheering on the “others” While my own truth shook with fear Said, “You deserve to live You deserve to be seen” But I still signed every song With a name that wasn’t me Every song I made, every tear I shed Was meant to help somebody else Patch their hearts and clear their heads I was a ghost in my own life Still hiding in my skin Telling them to step into the light While I stayed locked within But the more they heard my music And told me it felt real The more I ran out of excuses Not to say what I could feel I thought if they could love my truth When they heard it in my art Maybe someday, not too far off I’d let it live out in my heart This is my truth I found music And it cracked my shell All the feelings I’d been drowning Started ringing like a bell I poured my whole heart in Every word, every line Till the woman I’d been hiding Stopped waiting in my mind Now these late blooming songs Are me finally coming out I lost so many quiet years But I won’t live the rest in doubt
