I wrote an apology for a decision I hadn't even made yet. I could talk myself out of a burning building, stop to wonder if the fire might take offense. Got a thousand little forecasts in my head, all of 'em expensive, none of 'em paying rent. Everybody gets a vote on where I'm going, even people who don't know where I've been. By the time I finish weighing every outcome, there's another night I didn't live again. I know the room. I know the faces. I know the sentence just before somebody says it. But what a stupid kind of magic trick seeing every exit, never taking it. I call it caution. I call it being smart. Call it whatever helps me sleep; it still keeps me where I am. No more running every choice through a committee. Let them talk. Let it hurt. Let it hit me. I GIVE TOO MANY FUCKS, I'M CUTTING BACK! Been paying for a future that ain't even happened yet. Go ahead, call me reckless. Go ahead, be mad. You don't get to live my life and send the bill for that. I GIVE TOO MANY FUCKS, I'M CUTTING BACK! I might still shake when I say it, but I won't take it back. I don't need a guarantee to know where I stand. If I fall, I fall as me. I can live with that. Used to measure every word against a stranger's weather, smile for the forecast while my whole day went to shit. I'm the guy who understands why everyone's upset, then forgets that understanding doesn't mean I have to bend. I can love you. I can hear you. I can show up when it matters. Doesn't mean I owe the world a body on a platter. And I swear I had a reason every time I stepped aside. I was saving all my energy for a life I didn't try. That's funny. That's really fucking funny. I'm not gonna wake up fearless. I know myself too well. But the little voice that says I'm doomed can come along and watch me fail. I GIVE TOO MANY FUCKS, I'M CUTTING BACK! Been paying for a future that ain't even happened yet. Go ahead, call me reckless. Go ahead, be mad. You don't get to live my life and send the bill for that. I GIVE TOO MANY FUCKS, I'M CUTTING BACK! I might still shake when I say it, but I won't take it back. I don't need a guarantee to know where I stand. If I fall, I fall as me. I can live with that. Look, I know how this works. I'll still overthink it. Still replay it later. Still care what they thought. I'm just not taking orders from it anymore. I GIVE TOO MANY FUCKS, I'M CUTTING BACK! No more handing over years to things that haven't happened yet. Call me difficult. I'll take it. Yeah, I'm done with that. I'm tired of being easy when it breaks me in half. I GIVE TOO MANY FUCKS, I'M CUTTING BACK! Let my hands shake. Let them see it. I'm not taking it back. I don't need a guarantee, just the nerve to act. If I fall, I fall as me. I can live with that. Still give a fuck. Just not to everybody.
