swamp witch showdown

[INTRO — SPOKEN, LOW AND SMOKY] I told y'all that Witch been watchin' me funny... Third time this week she tried to repossess my shadow. Now, I ain't sayin' that's personal... But she did spell my name wrong. Twice. And the second time... my shadow signed it. [VERSE 1] She rose out the muck like a tax-form demon Chartreuse eyes and a grin full of treason Mildew dress draggin' vines through the mud Said, “Boy, this swamp ain't your neighborhood.” I slipped in the moss, smoked my pride Heard six frogs yell, “YOU 'BOUT TO DIE” I reached for courage, found an empty jar Crawdad said, “Don't worry.” I said, “How bad?” He said, “Pretty far.” She raised one finger, whole cypress bent Raised the other, my left shoe went I said, “Lady, that's a brand-new boot.” She said, “Then consider it tribute.” [PRE-HOOK] Catfish said, “Breathe slow, don't fight the tide.” Lizard Man said, “Keep your confidence wide.” Squatch just watched from the cypress shade. I said, “Y'all got a plan?” Squatch said, “Not yet.” [HOOK] Swamp Witch writin' checks she can't cash Throwin' little curses like she's throwin' glass You don't pull kings in a bayou night Not when the OG crew is standin' by tonight She said, “Boy, you ain't a king.” I said, “That's news to me.” She laughed so hard The Spanish moss shook free. Then the whole damn swamp Started laughin' with me. [RAP VERSE 1 — RAPID, FRACTURED] Bobbin' and weavin' through voodoo steam Winged prophet screamin' through a time-stream dream Forest giant stomp, whole pathway crack River beast roll up like, “Boy, don't look back” Hex grammar rapid, every syllable venom Moon start spinning like somebody spun heaven Banjo blade flash, cut the curse in half Dobro growl low while the dead trees laugh She said, “Read subsection seven.” I said, “Which part?” She said, “The curse.” I said, “That's too long.” She said, “Then suffer.” I said, “Fair enough.” She threw a hex. I ducked. It hit a raccoon. The raccoon looked offended. [INSTRUMENTAL CHAOS BREAK] [FIDDLE — SCREAMING BENDS] [BANJO — BLISTERING SPEED ROLL] [DOBRO — DISTORTED SLIDE CRY] [HARMONICA — WARPED ECHO SHRIEKS] [SWAMP FX — CAULDRON BOIL, WATER SURGE, REVERSED ANIMAL CRIES] [VERSE 2] I summoned every lesson from the mud and scale Every strange little warning left a trail Trees bowed low like they knew what was next Even the moon looked worried when she flexed Crawdad said, “Precision.” Catfish said, “Patience.” Lizard Man said, “Confidence.” Squatch said, “Run.” I said, “Run?” Squatch said, “Eventually.” Then Mothman dropped from the sky And said, “You probably oughta move.” I said, “Move where?” He pointed at the Witch. “Oh.” [RAP VERSE 2 — MANIC, FRACTURED] Phase-shift, hex-flash, spell-displace Counterbass rumble put a crack in space Banjo sigil whip, jaw locked tight Dobro growl dragging through the black of night She blinked once, then crowned me quick Said, “All right, boy, you learnin' slick” Threw one hand up, split the night Turned every shadow ultraviolet I countered with the lessons that the swamp done gave Moved like water, stood like a grave Crawdad yelled, “LEFT!” Catfish yelled, “BREATHE!” Lizard Man yelled, “I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!” I said, “ME NEITHER!” And somehow... that worked. [FINAL HOOK] Swamp Witch smiled with a smoky grin Said, “You ain't prey.” I said, “Then what am I?” She said, “Kin.” From cursed foe to something in-between She became the strangest queen I'd ever seen She ain't my friend And I ain't hers But when that swamp starts shaking... We know who gets there first. [OUTRO — LAZY, GIGGLING WHISPER] She got me floatin' sideways Talkin' to reeds... Crawdad's upside down. Lizard Man's arguing with a tree. Mothman's wearing my hat. Squatch is pretending none of this is happening. And the Witch? She's sittin' on the water Like gravity owes her money. [PAUSE] OG crew just gained a chaos deity. [LONG PAUSE] Which is probably... probably... gonna be a problem later.