[Intro] I'm tired I'm tired [Verse 1 ] I'm tired of pretending like I ain't got fire raging deep in my blood Tired of actin like there ain't a war waging under the hood I'm strung out so heavily, anxiety hits like a flood there's a demon in here screamin at me to stop pretending to be good I see violence behind my eyelids, it's like I ain't ever left I can taste the dust I kicked up every time I take a breath. I clench my fists and pray to God that it passes Because I don't want the battles to become a habit I didn't live through hell to give up the light in myself So the demons can't fuckin have it. I'm tired, But not nearly tired enough To take two steps back to where I was, I ain't given the ground up You want the hate to resurface? You want me to come at you in anger? You don't know what you're askin You don't understand the danger I'm a killer first and foremost even if I'm trying to find peace That don't stop me from rippin people to pieces My patience don't make me weak My calm don't make me a target I still know how to make you bleed So stop tryna take advantage of my love of life's beauty I'm still a beast And I'm being battered by all this pressure Expectations on who to be I wish you'd all just back the fuck up and let me breathe And I know that that ain't an option But fuck man, I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired [Verse 2] Do you know how many years it took to stop bein so fuckin angry? I do my best to love everyone and people still find a way to hate me and lately I find that I'm startin' to stop givin a fuck Sorry but I'm just tryna keep it a buck But it might come across as more due to inflation And current socio-economic climates And the current geo political tensions May have taught me a few valuable lessons About worryin' about myself first I ain't lettin you motherfuckers shove my face in the dirt. I'm honestly out of patience And that don't mean I let the hate win I'm just exhausted from all the flak on my back When I open my mouth to say shit I give more of me to others than I keep for myself And I aint tellin you to incite empathy I don't need the help But fuck man, I'm tired. [Instrumental] [Verse 3] I ever mention when I posted for the first time and was proud? Back then I was new to the outlet and still figuring this shit out? Very low expectations, mixed with the trepidation Of puttin myself into my work, it was a new sensation When I spent an hour in chat not even trying to blast back On somebody who tore me down, over my first track, Shit cut straight to the quick, I didn't attack but some days I wish that I did Maybe then it wouldn't hurt as bad when people I like act like I don't exist, And inside my own "house" I bet you won't believe but it's true About how many people you adore that hate me, it's quite a few And that wouldn't fuckin gut me, if I didn't like em too, But I live with that weight in my chest, what the fuck else am I 'sposed to do? I botched it, And I'd fix it if that was even an option But it's not So I stay tired [Instrumental] [Verse 4] I'm tired of the scrutiny, the constant opportunity For somebody to come confuse my fuckin honesty with cruelty I fought too hard for unity between the man I am and who I used to be To let somebody else's insecurity determine what my music means I guess my diction's under jurisdiction Of a committee with a personal definition Of every sentence that I mention Till my freedom of expression needs permission for admission, shit It's a matter of perception, selective recollection Everybody's got a version of my words that fits their own projections Confirmation bias got 'em drawing conclusions from assumptions Then they swear that their interpretation was the point of the discussion I'm observing their reactions, trying not to overreact But the moment that they measure me, they tryin to run it back When the shit they say makes me sufficiently mad My thoughts are in superposition till somebody hears the track Then they collapse into a meaning I ain't ever fucking had. [Sudden Stop][Spoken] That's quantum mechanics for the uninitiated [Beat Comes Back] I'm done with the deliberation, constant self-interrogation Every statement's an invitation for another accusation Misinterpretation masquerading as an explanation Of a mind you never occupied but somehow you're the expert on its motivations I ain't claiming I'm infallible, I'm painfully aware Of the damage that a sentence does when somebody ain't prepared Point I'm tryna make is I really don't fuckin care And maybe that ain't entirely fair [Spoken] Anyway fuck it I'm tired [End]
