[Intro] (Ice cubes rattle: Chink-clink... Straw lines up... LOUD POP!) Revision number nine: "Make the blue more sincere." [Verse 1] (Elastic Slap-Bass Bounce) Client dropped a bomb at three-fifteen, Pissing all over my computer screen. My spine is made of lead, my eyes are dry, Staring down the barrel of an endless July. Plastic cup sweating on the printed sheet, The only holy mercy on this corporate street. Hold the pointed straw like a spear of brass, I’m piercing right through all this middle-class trash! [Pre-Chorus] (Ice Shakes Accelerate into Drop) Tear off the paper! (rip) Aim for the bullseye! Say goodbye to the tension in the tie! [Chorus 1] (Addictive Pop-Funk Earworm Hook) POP THAT LID! DRIVE IT IN DEEP! Here’s the only promise that I'm gonna keep! Brown sugar bubbles hitting on the tooth, Cooling down the bitter little corporate truth! (Poke it till it snaps! POP THAT LID!) [Verse 2] Sweet cold cream sliding down my throat, Keeping my dignity barely afloat. The boss walks by with a spreadsheet glare, I chew my tapioca, looking at the air. Two-dollar drink in a plastic shell, Saved my mortal soul from this fluorescent hell! [Chorus 2] (Addictive Pop-Funk Earworm Hook) POP THAT LID! DRIVE IT IN DEEP! Here’s the only promise that I'm gonna keep! Brown sugar bubbles hitting on the tooth, Cooling down the bitter little corporate truth! [Bridge] (Horns Drop Out - Rhythmic Straw Slurp Solo) Chase the last pearl . . . Drain the sweet foam . . . Cup is bone-dry . . . (LOUD EMPTY SLUUUURP!) NOW HIT SEND. [Chorus 3] (Explosive Full-Horn Party Climax) CRUSH THAT PLASTIC! Chuck it in the can! I took my little minute like a dangerous man! Back to the keyboard with a wicked little grin, Bring on the revisions, I’m-a dive back in! [Outro] Chink. Clink. Empty cup slurps: Slurp. Send button clicked: Ding. Best two bucks I ever spent.
