Good evening, my good people… My name is 008 I am the one picking up the pieces After 007 And I tell you… That is quite a messy job! I found a glove in a fountain A boot in a vase by the door Lipstick on three different collars And silk on the marble floor One lady cried in the hallway One left a note in red One asked if he’d call her tomorrow Then scuffed his name instead So I smooth the hem of the evening And I pour out tea for two I say, “Darling, he’s gone again now” That’s what my poor hands do I’m 008 I mend what he breaks I hold the ones he leaves behind I’m 008 I clean up the wrecks And keep a straight face every time (008) A watch with a blade in the bezel A cufflink stuck in a grate A briefcase split down the middle By a most dramatic mistake I polish the smoke from the glasses I count each shattered charm Then I wire his toys back together With a very steady arm And when the girls ask me softly “Was he ever truly kind?” I say, “He wore a fine cologne, love And a permanent exit sign” I’m 008 I mend what he breaks I hold the ones he leaves behind I’m 008 I clean up the wrecks And keep a straight face every time (008) One left a heel on the carpet One left her key in the rain One said, “He kissed like a thunderclap” Then never came back again So I stand in the ash of his glamour In my finest midnight tie And I tell the room, “Dearest angels Try not to romanticize” I’m 008 I mend what he breaks I hold the ones he leaves behind I’m 008 I clean up the wrecks And keep a straight face every time (008) And… By the way…. I take my martini stirred… not shaken!
