(Verse 1) Walking down the aisles, pushing my cart, Feeling a rumble, oh no, it’s gonna start. Trying to keep it cool, acting all suave, But deep inside, I know I’m about to drop the bomb. (Chorus) Secretly farting in Costco, Hoping no one will know. Blaming it on the samples, As I sneak past the rows. (Verse 2) Frozen foods and dairy, I’m holding my breath, Praying to the shopping gods, don’t let it be a mess. A little squeak escapes, I pretend it’s the floor, But the smell gives it away, as I shit on the floor. (Chorus) Secretly farting in Costco, Hoping no one will know. Blaming it on the samples, As I sneak past the rows. (Bridge) Dodging the stares, avoiding the shame, Just another day in the grocery game. I’ll grab my bulk items and make a quick dash, Before anyone notices I shit my pants. (Chorus) Secretly farting in Costco, Hoping no one will know. Blaming it on the samples, As I sneak past the rows. (Outro) So next time you’re shopping, and you feel that urge, Remember this song, and try to submerge. Your secret’s safe with me, in this retail show, Just another day, secretly farting in Costco.
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