A Deal With God [Verse 1] Dear God... I'm at war with my reflection, Looking for a reason while I'm drowning in rejection. Every road I take feels like another wrong direction, I've been chasing peace but I'm addicted to the tension. They tell me, "Just believe," Like faith don't shake. Like hearts don't crack. Like souls don't break. I'm trying... But the silence gets loud, When you're screaming inside and nobody's around. I've been carrying stones in a backpack of guilt, Trying to smile while my whole world's built On questions... Stacked to the ceiling. Can't tell if it's doubt... Or just what I'm feeling. Every loss left another hole, Every prayer took another toll. If You're writing every chapter... Why's this page so cold? [Build] I don't need another speech... I don't need another quote... I just need a little hope... Before I lose my grip and choke. If You're there... Don't let me miss it. If You're close... Help me listen. [Chorus] I was trying to make a deal with God... Anything to ease this pain. Trading every piece of who I am... Just to feel alive again. Now I'm learning trust ain't bargains, It ain't promises I make. It's believing through the silence... When my whole world starts to shake. So if You're leading... Give me strength to keep moving. Even if I never understand... What You're doing. [Verse 2] I'm tired of pretending that I'm stronger than I am, Holding every broken piece with bleeding hands. Everybody sees the smile... They don't see the battlefield. They don't hear the conversations... That my mind refuses to heal. Fear keeps knocking at my front door, Doubt keeps sleeping on my floor. Hope keeps packing up its bags... Like it don't live here anymore. Still... Something tells me not to quit. Even when I can't explain it. Even when I want to walk away... Something whispers... "Don't waste this." Maybe mountains weren't made To stand in my way. Maybe they were built To change who I became. [Bridge] If I have to crawl... I'll crawl. If I have to fall... I'll fall. But don't let this darkness Become who I am. Turn these tears into rivers. Turn these rivers into roads. Turn these roads into a purpose... Only You could know. [Final Chorus] No more deals with God... No more trying to earn Your love. I'm done chasing all the answers... Maybe trust is enough. I'll keep walking through the fire... Even if I walk alone. 'Cause maybe faith isn't seeing where You're taking me... Maybe faith is taking one more step... When You say... "Keep going." [Outro] I still have questions. I still have doubts. I still break. I still cry. But if You're not finished writing my story... Then neither am I.
