[Intro] Now hold on. Before anybody starts makin' accusations... There's a perfectly reasonable explanation For most of this shit. [Verse 1] I weren't tryna be SIR-spish-us. I was mindin' my own damn biz. Just happened to be behind your house At a quarter after six. Had a shovel in the pickup. Had some rope there in the back. Had a tarp rolled up beside it... But you gotta quit readin' into that. You asked me why I'm whisperin'. I said, "That's just how I talk." You asked me why I'm wearin' gloves. I said, "Sometimes hands get cold." You said, "It's ninety-seven." I said, "Weather's strange these days." See, every little thing I do Gets taken the wrong damn way. [Pre-Chorus] Now you're lookin' at me sideways Like I'm guilty of a crime. Maybe you ain't caught me doin' shit... You just got a SIR-spish-us mind. [Chorus] I WEREN'T TRYNA BE SIR-SPISH-US! Y'all just makin' shit up! I was only diggin' that hole 'Cause the ground looked soft enough! Ain't no reason for the questions! Ain't no reason for the lights! You ain't got no damn evidence... YOU GOT SIR-SPISH-US MINDS! SIR-spish-us minds! Always thinkin' somethin' ain't right! I weren't tryna be SIR-spish-us... You got SIR-spish-us minds! [Verse 2] Now why's everybody worried 'Bout the duffel in my shed? It's mostly normal household stuff. Let's just leave it there instead. And that ain't somebody's license plate Layin' underneath my seat. That's... Well... Okay, that one's harder. But it don't belong to me. Then my neighbor started askin' Why his camera disappeared. I said, "Man, that's fuckin' crazy. People gettin' weird 'round here." He said, "It's in your trash can." I said, "That don't prove it's mine." Why's everybody always gotta have These SIR-spish-us minds? [Chorus] I WEREN'T TRYNA BE SIR-SPISH-US! Y'all just makin' shit up! I was only wearin' that ski mask 'Cause the wind was pickin' up! Ain't no reason for the questions! Ain't no reason for the lights! You ain't got no damn evidence... YOU GOT SIR-SPISH-US MINDS! SIR-spish-us minds! Always thinkin' somethin' ain't right! I weren't tryna be SIR-spish-us... You got SIR-spish-us minds! [Verse 3] Then somebody called the cops. Now they're knockin' at my door. Asked me where I was on Friday. I said, "Which Friday we talkin' 'bout?" They said, "Sir, the one three days ago." I said, "That's awful specific." Then they showed me photographs. I said, "Those could be anybody's pictures." They said, "That's clearly you." I said, "Well, that's your opinion." They said, "You're wearin' that same shirt." I said, "Lots of people own 'em." Then they pointed at my name tag. I said, "Okay... That ain't ideal." But circumstantial evidence Don't mean that shit is real! [Pre-Chorus] Now everybody's whisperin'. Blue lights flashin' through the blinds. I ain't sayin' I ain't done nothin'... I'm just sayin'— Mind your fuckin' mind. [Chorus] I WEREN'T TRYNA BE SIR-SPISH-US! Y'all just makin' shit up! Yeah, the camera caught me runnin'... Maybe I just like to run! And the bag ain't necessarily mine Just 'cause I held it twice! Why's everybody lookin' at me WITH THEM SIR-SPISH-US MINDS?! SIR-spish-us minds! Always thinkin' somethin' ain't right! I weren't tryna be SIR-spish-us... You got SIR-spish-us minds! [Bridge] Look... Could I explain everything? Probably. Would that explanation help me? Probably not. So maybe... We just stop askin' questions. [Police Radio Crackle] Wait. Why you reachin' for the cuffs? [Final Chorus] I WEREN'T TRYNA BE SIR-SPISH-US! I WAS TRYNA BE DISCREET! There's a very big difference... Legally speaking... Probably. See, you're callin' it "evidence!" I'm callin' it "things you find!" And the only thing I'm guilty of IS ATTRACTIN' SIR-SPISH-US MINDS! SIR-spish-us minds! Everybody thinks they know! SIR-spish-us minds! Always askin' where I go! I weren't tryna be SIR-spish-us! I was doin' fuckin' fine... 'Til everybody started lookin' WITH THEM SIR-SPISH-US MINDS! [Outro] For the record... I still haven't admitted to anything. [Pause] Can I get my shovel back? [Final Organ Hit]
