"Yeah... here we go again. Just another Tuesday in the flat." She’s standing on the sofa, pointing at the wall Looking like the sky is ‘bout to crumble and fall There’s a monster, she says, a beast from the deep I look up and see... a tiny dot, fast asleep. She’s shrieking like a siren, waking up the street "Catch it, kill it, bag it! Do not let us meet!" I lean against the doorframe, scratching my head, You want me to be a hero? I’d rather be in bed. "Who d’you think I am? Indiana Jones?" Hunting jungle terrors in the danger zones? It’s a millimeter wide, barely got a face But she’s acting like an alien is invading the place. Then she starts the bargaining, her voice gets low "Capture that spider and I’ll put on a show. Anything you want, babe, you just name the prize If you get that eight-legged demon out of my eyes." I squint at the wall, then I look at her face A cheeky little plan starts to take up space. I said, "Alright then, darling, here’s the deal I’ll make: I’ll catch the beast, but there’s a price I’m gonna take." "I’ll bag the bug," I said with a grin "But tonight, the real fun is gonna begin. I want you tied to the bedposts, nice and tight No moving, no talking, for the rest of the night." She hesitated... looked at the wall... shivered once... Then she nodded her head. "Fine. Just catch it, you dunce." One glass, one card, trapped it in a flash Spider’s in the garden, making a dash. Evening rolls 'round, I grab the silk rope She’s looking at me like I’m some kind of dope. I tie the final knot, she’s pinned to the sheet "Ready for some lovin'?" she says, sounding sweet. I put on my jacket, I check my phone, Sorry love, the boys are waiting, I’m leaving you alone. The pub is calling, the pints are cold and crisp, Enjoy the silence... and that spider you missed, Who d’you think I am? Indiana Jones? Nah... I’m just thirsty, Have fun babe and cya later...
