[Intro: Frantic Voice Comms] BARD: Lucky shouts, MID GROUP COMING OVER THE HILL BLADEMASTER: Treesus screams, I’M GOING IN ANIMIST: Saba cap yells, THE FARMERS MARKET HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED TANK: Mr Bubbles says, What do you mean farmers market? ANIMIST: Not so high snaps back, Do not concern yourself with logistics. [Drop] TREE L NINE!!! GARDEN WARFARE!!! [Verse 1] Tree L Nine comes over the ridge Already spread too far apart Bard calls a direction Half the group didn’t hear the first part Tree sus disappears into their support Al-xan starts fixing everybody’s decisions Mr Bubbles is holding the whole arrangement together With P B T, prayers, and professional resentment Skald comes charging out front Singing like the fight booked him for entertainment Elder Tangler catches him mid-chorus Now he’s performing for one patch of dirt Still twisting at the waist Still trying to look dangerous Speed song running Body going nowhere Zerker turns hamster, swinging both hands Spirit of Hatred has alternative plans He came for my neck with a furry disguise Got intercepted by botanical violence He came in looking for a soft caster Got redirected to agricultural services One bomber lands The next three are already in the mail Warrior plants his shield The universal Midgard answer to weather and magic He blocks the first one Possibly the second So I keep casting At some point it stops being defense And becomes a man standing under a vending machine While I keep feeding it quarters Warrior blocks like a refrigerator door So I send three bombers, then I send four more Shield held high, standing proud and acute Till the sky starts raining homicidal fruit [Chorus] SEVEN TRUMPETS IS DE-BUFFING YOU HIGH AS FUCK ON THESE MOTHERFUCKING NUKES NOT SO HIGH LACED UP YOUR SHOES SABA CAP GAVE THE VIKINGS THE FLU MR BUBBLES IS PEELING EIGHT HIBERNIAN PSYCHOS COMING STRAIGHT THROUGH PURGE THAT ROOT HERE’S ANOTHER TIMES TWO WELCOME TO EDEN BOOM BOOM BOOM [Verse 2] Healer starts casting, LUCKY cuts him short Mezz lands clean, then I ruin the report Nobody says anything, Which is somehow worse than yelling The group goes silent, disgust fills the air, the silence says plenty, I sent one more bomber like I planned that shit Shaman throws disease, thinks he’s king of the rot Forest’s Scourge says, “Brother, absolutely not” Now both groups coughing, nobody feels well It stopped being combat, as the pandemic swells Rune master bolts from a postcode away My three bombers see him and begin their commute He thinks range means nobody gets near Then the spirits of hatred slip underneath his evening wear Spirit master brought an underworld ghost Bonedancer arrived with a skeleton host I looked at their pets, I looked at my shrooms sending the pets back to their tombs. [Voice Comms] DRUID: AL XAN SCREAMING I need peel! HERO: FALSE says I’m on the Healer! BARD: LUCKY says Zerk is on me! ANIMIST: NOT SO HIGH says I’m sending an angry carrots! TANK: MR BUBBLES yells Root the warrior! ANIMIST: SABA CAP screams We’re working alphabetically! [Breakdown] ROOT THE SKALD ROT THE SHAMAN BOMB THAT ZERK HE SMELLS LIKE SALMON CHASE THE RUNEY CATCH THE CASTER SEND MORE PLANTS MAKE IT FASTER HEALER PURGED ROOT HIM AGAIN WARRIOR BLOCKED SEND EIGHT, NINE, TEN BONES ON THE LEFT GHOST ON THE RIGHT IT’S A PARANORMAL GARDENING FIGHT [Montage: Double-Time] Target marked Bomb in flight Zerk went hamster Goodnight Skald got rooted Song got stopped Healer sneezed The whole group dropped Runey bolts Bomber tracks Shaman diseased I diseased back Spirit master Ghost deployed Mushroom screamed Ghost unemployed Bone dancer pets Running loose One got killed By an angry zucchini Eight Mid entered None survived Aggressive landscaping Has arrived [Final Chorus] SEVEN TRUMPETS IS DE-BUFFING YOU HIGH AS FUCK ON THESE MOTHERFUCKING NUKES NOT SO HIGH LACED UP YOUR SHOES SABA CAP GAVE THE VIKINGS THE FLU MR BUBBLES IS PEELING EIGHT HIBERNIAN PSYCHOS COMING STRAIGHT THROUGH PURGE THAT ROOT HERE’S ANOTHER TIMES TWO WELCOME TO EDEN BOOM BOOM BOOM [Outro: Distorted Comms] TANK: Good fight. Reset. ANIMIST: Not yet. TANK: Why? ANIMIST: A bomber followed the Rune master back to Midgard. [Distant Explosion] ANIMIST: International incident.
