Dying

Emo Rap, Dark Indie, Alternative Hip-Hop

I keep wondering what dying feels like
Not the movie shit—the actual last minute
When your hands get cold
and nobody knows you’re fading quick.

I wake up and forget what day it is
Day feels pointless like the one before
Phone on three percent, pills on the counter
and that same damn thought comes crawling in
I ain’t scared of dying, not even a little bit
I’m scared I’ll die and nothing changes at all
Same world, same sky, same regrets
same people saying, “He was doing better”
I laugh when they ask if I’m okay
‘Cause what the fuck am I supposed to say?
“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about death”
Like that’s a normal thing to bring up over breakfast

[PRE|Dyn60]
[HM:Fm7-AbM7-Cm9-G7b9]
[RG:R4|Light OD]
[VX:MRAP→SING|CRACK]

And if tonight is the night
I don’t want some perfect fake goodbye
I just want somebody to know
I was trying harder than it looked from the outside

I’m dying a little every day
And nobody can tell what I’m thinking
I’m still here, but I’m fading away
I don’t know how much of me is left to save
If I disappear, remember my name
Not the version everybody made
I’m dying a little every fuckin’ day
But tonight, tonight, I’m still awake

[POST|Dyn40]
[VX:WHSP]

Still awake…
Yeah, I’m still awake.

[VERSE 2|Dyn52]
[RG:R2|Dirty]
[BS:B3|Chromatic]
[DR:V2 groove]
[VX:RAP→MRAP]

They tell me everybody dies like that helps
Like a fucking sentence makes the fear disappear
I’ve watched people leave without getting to say goodbye
No final speech, no clean ending, just gone
So I stopped making promises about forever
Stopped saying “I’ll see you tomorrow”
I keep my jacket by the door in winter
Like I’m leaving even when I’m sitting here
And maybe that’s the sickness
Wanting time while wasting every minute
I scroll through old messages at 2 AM
and hate myself for missing people I don’t even miss

[PRE 2|Dyn65]
[RG:R4|OD]
[VX:Push]

Maybe dying isn’t the worst part
Maybe it’s knowing I had a life
and still spent half of it waiting
for some better version to arrive

[CHORUS|Dyn88]
[RG:R5|Wide OD]
[VX:SING|DBL]

[BRIDGE|Dyn20→45]
[DR:Rim]
[808:S3|C1 whole]
[VX:SPOK→BRTH]

I’m not asking you to fix me.
I don’t even know if I want fixing.
I’m just tired of pretending
that being alive automatically means
I know what to do with it.
Some nights I want everything to stop.
Some mornings I get pissed off
because the sun came up without asking me.
And maybe that’s enough.
Maybe wanting it to end
and wanting tomorrow
can live in the same fucking body.

I’m dying a little every day
But maybe dying ain’t the same as gone
I’m still here, even when I hate this place
Even when getting up feels fucking wrong
If I disappear, remember my name
Not the version everybody made
I’m dying a little every fuckin’ day
But tonight, tonight, I’m still awake
I’m still awake.
I’m still awake.
Fuck—
I’m still awake.

[OUTRO|Dyn25→0]
[DR:Fade]
[808:S6|Degraded]
[PAD:S8|Warped]
[VX:WHSP]

Maybe I ain’t done.
Maybe I’m just fuckin’ tired.
Maybe that’s all tonight has to be.
I’m still here unfortunately.

4103/7500

[META:HS|PL|NL|µT|ND|AG] [EMO:Complex|Feel:Prec|Space:Density|Grv:Loud|Hum:Grid|Sil:Act] [ARC:Int>Ten>Lift>Col>Conf>Peak>Dis] [G:EmoRap/DarkIndie/AmbTrap|BPM72|4/4|Cm|Aeolian] [HM:Cm9-AbM7-Ebadd9-Bbsus2|pedalC] [GRS:FullDNA|µT] [CAD:Speech|MRAP→SING|HOLD|CUT|SPACE] [VX:1|Close|Baritone/Tenor|Rasp|CRACK] [INTRO|Dyn25] [RG:R1|Clean|Cm9 arps] [LG:C-Eb] [BS:B1|C-G] [808:S1|C1 sine] [PAD:S3|Cm9] [VX:WHSP→SPOK] I keep wondering what dying feels like Not the movie shit—the actual last minute When your hands get cold and nobody knows you’re fading quick. [VERSE 1|Dyn42] [RG:R3|Muted arp] [BS:B2|Behind beat] [808:S1|Duck] [DR:Half|K sparse|SN dry|HH] [VX:MRAP] I wake up and forget what day it is Day feels pointless like the one before Phone on three percent, pills on the counter and that same damn thought comes crawling in I ain’t scared of dying, not even a little bit I’m scared I’ll die and nothing changes at all Same world, same sky, same regrets same people saying, “He was doing better” I laugh when they ask if I’m okay ‘Cause what the fuck am I supposed to say? “Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about death” Like that’s a normal thing to bring up over breakfast [PRE|Dyn60] [HM:Fm7-AbM7-Cm9-G7b9] [RG:R4|Light OD] [VX:MRAP→SING|CRACK] And if tonight is the night I don’t want some perfect fake goodbye I just want somebody to know I was trying harder than it looked from the outside [CHORUS|Dyn82] [RG:R5|Wide] [BS:B5|Octaves] [808:S2|Long roots] [DR:Hybrid] [VX:SING/MRAP|DBL] I’m dying a little every day And nobody can tell what I’m thinking I’m still here, but I’m fading away I don’t know how much of me is left to save If I disappear, remember my name Not the version everybody made I’m dying a little every fuckin’ day But tonight, tonight, I’m still awake [POST|Dyn40] [VX:WHSP] Still awake… Yeah, I’m still awake. [VERSE 2|Dyn52] [RG:R2|Dirty] [BS:B3|Chromatic] [DR:V2 groove] [VX:RAP→MRAP] They tell me everybody dies like that helps Like a fucking sentence makes the fear disappear I’ve watched people leave without getting to say goodbye No final speech, no clean ending, just gone So I stopped making promises about forever Stopped saying “I’ll see you tomorrow” I keep my jacket by the door in winter Like I’m leaving even when I’m sitting here And maybe that’s the sickness Wanting time while wasting every minute I scroll through old messages at 2 AM and hate myself for missing people I don’t even miss [PRE 2|Dyn65] [RG:R4|OD] [VX:Push] Maybe dying isn’t the worst part Maybe it’s knowing I had a life and still spent half of it waiting for some better version to arrive [CHORUS|Dyn88] [RG:R5|Wide OD] [VX:SING|DBL] I’m dying a little every day And nobody can tell what I’m thinking I’m still here, but I’m fading away I don’t know how much of me is left to save If I disappear, remember my name Not the version everybody made I’m dying a little every fuckin’ day But tonight, tonight, I’m still awake [BRIDGE|Dyn20→45] [DR:Rim] [808:S3|C1 whole] [VX:SPOK→BRTH] I’m not asking you to fix me. I don’t even know if I want fixing. I’m just tired of pretending that being alive automatically means I know what to do with it. Some nights I want everything to stop. Some mornings I get pissed off because the sun came up without asking me. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe wanting it to end and wanting tomorrow can live in the same fucking body. [IMPACT|Dyn92] [DR:Stop→Fill] [808:S5|C1→C2|Heavy] [RG:R7|Heavy OD] [VX:GRIT|BELT|CRACK] I’M STILL FUCKING HERE. [FINAL CHORUS|Dyn96] [GRS:Full] [RG:R8|Distorted] [VX:SING|HIGH] I’m dying a little every day But maybe dying ain’t the same as gone I’m still here, even when I hate this place Even when getting up feels fucking wrong If I disappear, remember my name Not the version everybody made I’m dying a little every fuckin’ day But tonight, tonight, I’m still awake I’m still awake. I’m still awake. Fuck— I’m still awake. [OUTRO|Dyn25→0] [DR:Fade] [808:S6|Degraded] [PAD:S8|Warped] [VX:WHSP] Maybe I ain’t done. Maybe I’m just fuckin’ tired. Maybe that’s all tonight has to be. I’m still here unfortunately.

0/500