I Use My Hand

🎤 Parody Lyrics – "I Use My Hand Man" (to the cadence of Rubberband Man) [Intro/Chant] Ooooh, I use my hand, man— (Lord, it’s the only jam, man!) Ooooh, I use my hand, man— (Get down with my own plan, man!) [Verse 1] Way back when I was just a teen, Didn’t know what desire could mean. No girlfriend hangin’, I was all alone, But I found a way to make my cover blown. Now people talkin’, say it ain’t too grand— But I don’t mind, ‘cause I got my hand! [Chorus] I use my hand, man! (Use my hand, man!) The lotion stand, man! (Right in hand, man!) Don’t need no band, man! (No romance, man!) They call me I Use My Hand Man! [Verse 2] Every night, well, I’m settin’ the mood, Microwave dinner, then I grab my lube. Ain’t no pressure, I ain’t payin’ no check, Just some Kleenex keepin’ round my neck. The neighbors whisper, but they don’t understand— That funky solo life of the Hand Man! [Chorus] I use my hand, man! (Hand, man!) Oh yes I can, man! (Can, man!) Don’t need no fan, man! (Fan, man!) They call me I Use My Hand Man! [Bridge – spoken/funky breakdown] Now listen here… Some cats waitin’ on a date to land, But I just wait for when I lift my hand. It’s cheap, it’s free, it’s on demand— I’m a one-man show with my right-hand band! [Final Chorus – stacked backing vocals] I use my hand, man! (Hand, man!) Ain’t it grand, man! (Grand, man!) Oh yes I stand, man—(Stand, man!) Forever I Use My Hand Man! [Outro – vamp out call/response] Hand man… (hand man!) I use my hand, man! (hand man!) Hand man… (hand man!) I use my hand, man!