Late September light on the kitchen floor Dust in the air like it’s keeping score Your coffee ring still on the oak I let it fade I let it soak We used to measure time by trains By leaves that yellowed in windowpanes By how the frost would kiss the glass And how we swore it wouldn’t pass Winter came in quiet sheets We slept with silence at our feet Two shadows turning back to back Pretending we were fine with that You said love is work, and work is pain And I kept watering a dying plant in the rain It’s better to be alone than miserable Better to feel it break than bend Better to sit with the cold at the table Than warm myself on a lie again It’s better to be sad than ashamed Better to lose than live unnamed Better to spend the nights wasting time Than trying to learn your name By April we were careful friends Passing plates and blurred-out ends The tulips rose along the fence But we just built more difference Summer pressed against the screen Hot and loud and evergreen We talked in circles, small and tight Like moths that wouldn’t leave the light You said we’re close, we just need space But space was all that filled this place It’s better to be alone than miserable Better to bruise than disappear Better to watch the season turning Than freeze another year It’s better to be sad than ashamed Better to walk than play the game Better to spend the nights wasting time Than trying to learn your name October wind through open doors I don’t wait up for you anymore No more rehearsed apologies No more “maybe we’ll see” There’s peace in an empty room In knowing I won’t bloom for you It’s better to be alone than miserable Better to ache and let it show Better to leave the porch light burning For someone I don’t yet know It’s better to be sad than ashamed Better to stand than shrink in blame Better to spend the nights wasting time Than trying to learn your name First frost settles on the lawn Morning comes and you are gone The house is quiet, but it’s mine And for the first time So is the time
