emptyhands

I reach for you with splintered skin Already braced for your goodbye I let you see the mess within Then act surprised when you decide I talk like I’m not scared to lose Like I don’t hear the exit plans But every love I ever choose Just slips straight through my open hands I swear I don’t mean to understand Why I’m the last one left to stand I’m always left with empty hands Watching you walk where I can’t stand I build the door, I make the plans Then cry alone with empty hands I test the pulse, I push too far To see how fast your grip will fade I turn my heart into a scar Before you get the chance to stay I say I’m fine with being alone Like isolation’s what I planned But every time you’re almost home I ruin it with shaking hands I swear I don’t know who I am Without the ache I understand I’m always left with empty hands Watching you walk where I can’t stand I build the door, I make the plans Then cry alone with empty hands If I expect you to let go It hurts less when you do If I convince myself you’ll go I don’t have to beg you to I’d rather starve than need you near I’d rather bleed than make demands So I become exactly what I fear The one who leaves with empty hands I’m always left with empty hands Like love was something I misplanned I push away what understands Then blame the world for empty hands