[Verse 1] Hello, Mrs. Claus, it’s red nosed Rudy reindeer on the line Got a little problem with the joy shipment tonight The sleigh got compromised, red lights up ahead Santa got pulled over for swerving that sled He yelled, “You on the notty list” Then he ran the blockade, now the poe poe are pist No Silent Night, that’s the way it went Couple reindeer went down in the roadside event vixen hit the ground, the police started shooting Whole pack went sideways, Christmas got unruly Swerved off a hill, gifts spilled in the snow Reindeer everywhere, cold wind blow I could tell by the sight, Santa chose flight He picked up his heater and vanished in the night I heard him yelling, cuttin’ through the dark “marry Christmas mother funkers” and he made his depart [Pre-Chorus] Mrs. Claus, we got a problem We ain’t getting gifts at this rate unless we solve it I think Santa’s off his meds, needs a doctor Better get there fast, I heard a helicopter [Chorus] It’s a 911 silent night Santa’s in flight It’s a 911 silent night We need help tonight It’s a 911 silent night(ho ho ho) Don’t let him fade from sight It’s a 911 silent night We need help tonight [Verse 2] Yeah, this is Rudy, I’m giving you the report Three of our soldiers never made it back alive to port, first its dancer ,then Prancer, oh and Bill, bill was the "fill-in dear" Bill had a wife at home, now his whole life's a blurred Santa’s in flight, got too much Christmas cheer I found an empty baggie in his Santa gear Satchel stuck way back in the rear Glitter dust on the floor, that’s why we’re here The bag was torn, the trail was white And every little hoofprint said he's higher than a kite By the fence line I heard that rotor whine So I’m telling you straight, Mrs. Claus, it’s prime time, radio talk,Santa on coke and deers lined in chalk If you can hear me, send a rescue train, anything, We’re losing the whole night to a mad snow flame The gifts won’t move, the sleigh won’t rise Till we bail him out of this midlife crime (ho ho mother suckers) [Bridge] Through the drift and the siren glow I’m calling your name through the falling snow If you know that trail, and se Santa, man Get him back on track if you still can (Santa Claus is on the wanted lists and the elves are pissed) [Chorus] It’s a 911 silent night Santa’s in flight It’s a 911 silent night santa is coming tonight It’s a 911 silent night Santa Claus is wanted tonight It’s a 911 silent night I think we need to get this sled back on track, "this is Rudy, silent night"
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