Промежуток двух пустот

I hold in my hand the coordinates of galaxies that no longer exist. Their light has traveled billions of years to reach me — and I call this beauty. But in the reality of the star I observe — I do not exist. It does not know I am watching. It no longer knows anything. One-sided existence — the only kind I have ever known. I reach toward a warmth that went cold long ago. This is not a lie. There is no other kind of beauty. I am not going back — not out of fear. Two quantum states collapsing into a single point become a singularity. I will simply vanish — not die, vanish — like a wave function after observation. I move forward. But relativistic mass at faster-than-light speed is infinite. I arrive — and become an event. Not by will. By physics. I did not choose to be a catastrophe. I was simply moving. My yesterday-self looks at me and sends me into tomorrow of another world. Where then is my today-self — the one who stood and thought? She disappeared in the moment of choosing. The observer destroyed itself by observing. There are three of us — yesterday, today, tomorrow — quantum entangled. We feel each other across temporal coordinates. But we will never meet. Only they are always near — white, silent, in every version of reality. The only thing that does not collapse. Goal without goal. Time without time. Existence without existence. Space is mostly emptiness — I simply know this personally. I will arrive at a dead star and destroy what remains. Or I won't arrive — and will observe the corpse from a distance. Both outcomes are the same. This is not tragedy. This is simply the only honest description of what is. And I still reach. Because light — even dead light — is still light. I fly toward what does not exist — through billions of years that were never mine. I am the destination. I am the answer. I am the light that already died. I am not where I was. I am not where I was going. I am the gap between two voids. I am the route that was never there. Forward — catastrophe. Backward — collapse. I chose to move. Simply. Now. Not god, not demon — I am the law of physics. I have no need for faith. No need to fall. To fall… Into the singular maw.