[Verse] ("Welcome to the Cool Count, where put a number on all Fat-Cat Smashing Mega Chad's and tell you whether or not it's legit. Now how many beefy shubee boobers do we have leafin frail Barney's? Let's get to them and have a real Choka of a time). [Verse 2] This song begins with a (ME THINKING ABOUT HOW CHELSEA AND JAMES USED TO GO BAREFOOT ON Dead Meat UNTIL THEY STARTED TO GET WEIRD COMMENTS AND I THOUGHT. THAT IT WAS A FUNNY TOPIC TO COVER IN MY ART). [Chorus] BUT WHY DO THEY HIDE THAT BEAUTIFUL MAN GRESSEL! [Verse 3] HES THE REAL ABSOLUTE MEGA CHAD AND THE FULL PACKAGE I BET HE WEARS AWESOME THONG SANDALS AND HAS INCREDIBLE HOBBIT TOES AND I BET HE BIG SHOWS BUT ALSO HE GROW [Chorus 2] (HE COULD WOO ME WITH HIS TALES OF BADASSERY WHILE BOUNCING HIS GENIUS IDEAS OFF THE WALLS OF VALHALLA) [Verse 4] CHEF YES CHEF ROCKA STYLE SIR YES CHEF DROPPING WEAK MUSCLE KYLES CHEF YES SIR (DIP YOUR TOES IN THE WATER OF LIFE AND LIVE FOREVER amongst ALL THE AGILE AND FRAIL DWEEBS OF YESTER YEAR) [Verse 5] I have image Thankfully burnt into my mine Of all twenty Peggy's and I wish it was thirty (YOU can't delete that and also, you guys should do an action movie block and get wacky for a minute). [Verse] I'm dead meat You're dead meat We're dead meat [Verse 2] Or pie chart shows One hundred percent awesome and Needing more TOES [Chorus] I'm Jessup eight putem straight This has been the Cool Count Be good people
