[Verse 1] Oh no, he's lying on the couch again Blanket up, thinking, it's his end Moaning like he's almost dead Eyes half closed and looking sad He says: "I think it’s time..." "Call my mom and say goodbye" Legs don't work, too much ache It's called the man flue, for got sake! [Chorus] Little man, little man, ---you're so sick Try popping' a baby ---out of your hip Oh little man, little man, you're not sick Just need your ass kicked, not a crucifix! [Verse 2] Googling symptoms like it’s the plague Wrapped like a hotdog, feeling a wrack Made some soup, don't know why He says: “The last meal, I'll try!” Writing his will, planning his wake Sneezing once and starts to shake Meanwhile I had cramps, did taxes too That little whiner, it's just the man flu [Chorus] Little man, little man, ---you look so afraid Try contractions, ten hours straight Oh little man, little man, you're so ill First one dying from a NyQuil pill [Bridge] He says, “Babe, hold me, I think this is the end” I say, “Sure, but first, take out the trash again” He gasps, “I can't… I see the light…” I roll my eyes and dim the lights [Final Chorus] Little man, little man, ---you're still alive Sneezed three times but somehow survived Oh little man, little man, It's been seen You're not dying, just a drama queen! [Male] “Babe… if I don’t make it… tell the world… I was very, very brave…” [Female] “Yeah yeah, I’ll put it on your tombstone. Right under: 'Caught a cold on Tuesday.’”
