Emu's Zoomies - v7 - Homemade Tornado Destruction

industrial, sitcom, working-class anthem

[Verse 1]
Eyes pinned back, wide open and blank
Feathers ruffled up like an armored tank
Two big legs pounding on the hardwood floor
Static in the air, blowing down the front door!
Dust clouds rising in the living room space
Zero to a hundred in an apex chase
It’s a feathered projectile, sonic boom crack
No turning around, no turning back!

[Pre-Chorus]
Spinning in a circle, legs like a blur
Furniture flying in a chaotic blur
Total devastation in a five-foot zone
The wildest menace that you’ve ever known!
(Count it down!)
3! 2! 1!
OUT OF CONTROL!

[Chorus]
EMU’S ZOOMIES! HOMEMADE TORNADO DESTRUCTION!
Ripping through the house with a wild eruption!
Twisting, turning, tearing through the hall
Knocking down the pictures off the living room wall!
EMU’S ZOOMIES! UNSTOPPABLE FORCE!
Veering off path, totally off course!
Insane, wild, running round and round
Bringing the entire building down to the ground!

[Post-Chorus]
(Glitch vocal chops: T-T-TORNADO! D-D-DESTRUCTION!)
(Synthesizer chaos, splintering wood FX)
Watch out! Here it comes again!
(Tornado winds roaring)

[Verse 2]
Shattered lamps, cushions flying through the air
Feathers sticking to the ceiling everywhere
Left turn, right turn, 180 spin
Scratches on the floor where the talons dig in!
It’s a whirl-gig storm of pure chaos energy
A flightless bird making absolute history
Curtains ripped down, table knocked over
No safety zone, nowhere to take cover!

[Pre-Chorus]
Spinning in a circle, legs like a blur
Furniture flying in a chaotic blur
Total devastation in a five-foot zone
The wildest menace that you’ve ever known!
(Here we go!)
3! 2! 1!
OUT OF CONTROL!

[Bridge - Heavy Bass Drop & Glitch Break]
(Music cuts to heavy sub-bass wobble and stuttering alarm)
[Spoken - Fast & Distorted]
Current speed: Critical.
Tornado category: Level Five.
Damage assessment: Everything is destroyed.
[Shouted]
FEATHERS EVERYWHERE!
(Massive synth drop, rapid-fire kick drum barrage)
RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN!
IT'S GAINING SPEED!
IT CANNOT BE STOPPED!

[Guitar / Synth Solo - Chaotic, Screaming Lead]
(Wild, discordant synth arpeggios firing at breakneck speed)
(Glitch-spliced percussion overload)

[Verse 3]
Zig-zagging through the kitchen, sliding on the tile
Knocking over dishes in a jagged little pile
A blur of brown and grey, a whirlwind of speed
Driven by an absolute primal need!
No logic, no reason, just pure speed power
Demolishing the place by the minute, by the hour!

[Outro]
Homemade tornado... fading out...
Wait, it's turning around!
IT'S NOT OVER!
(Final massive bass boom)
(Feathers settling sound effect)
[Spoken - Exhausted]
Zoomies terminated. Target is now taking a nap.
(System shut down sound)

3689/7500

[Intro - Chaotic Siren & Screeching FX] (Sirens blaring) (Feathers flying, heavy bass hum) [Spoken/Shouted - Glitched] WARNING. CONTAINMENT BREACH IN SECTOR NINE. THE EMU HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. REPEAT: THE EMU HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. INITIATE ZOOMIE PROTOCOL! (Glitch stutter: Z-Z-Z-ZOOM!) [Verse 1] Eyes pinned back, wide open and blank Feathers ruffled up like an armored tank Two big legs pounding on the hardwood floor Static in the air, blowing down the front door! Dust clouds rising in the living room space Zero to a hundred in an apex chase It’s a feathered projectile, sonic boom crack No turning around, no turning back! [Pre-Chorus] Spinning in a circle, legs like a blur Furniture flying in a chaotic blur Total devastation in a five-foot zone The wildest menace that you’ve ever known! (Count it down!) 3! 2! 1! OUT OF CONTROL! [Chorus] EMU’S ZOOMIES! HOMEMADE TORNADO DESTRUCTION! Ripping through the house with a wild eruption! Twisting, turning, tearing through the hall Knocking down the pictures off the living room wall! EMU’S ZOOMIES! UNSTOPPABLE FORCE! Veering off path, totally off course! Insane, wild, running round and round Bringing the entire building down to the ground! [Post-Chorus] (Glitch vocal chops: T-T-TORNADO! D-D-DESTRUCTION!) (Synthesizer chaos, splintering wood FX) Watch out! Here it comes again! (Tornado winds roaring) [Verse 2] Shattered lamps, cushions flying through the air Feathers sticking to the ceiling everywhere Left turn, right turn, 180 spin Scratches on the floor where the talons dig in! It’s a whirl-gig storm of pure chaos energy A flightless bird making absolute history Curtains ripped down, table knocked over No safety zone, nowhere to take cover! [Pre-Chorus] Spinning in a circle, legs like a blur Furniture flying in a chaotic blur Total devastation in a five-foot zone The wildest menace that you’ve ever known! (Here we go!) 3! 2! 1! OUT OF CONTROL! [Chorus] EMU’S ZOOMIES! HOMEMADE TORNADO DESTRUCTION! Ripping through the house with a wild eruption! Twisting, turning, tearing through the hall Knocking down the pictures off the living room wall! EMU’S ZOOMIES! UNSTOPPABLE FORCE! Veering off path, totally off course! Insane, wild, running round and round Bringing the entire building down to the ground! [Bridge - Heavy Bass Drop & Glitch Break] (Music cuts to heavy sub-bass wobble and stuttering alarm) [Spoken - Fast & Distorted] Current speed: Critical. Tornado category: Level Five. Damage assessment: Everything is destroyed. [Shouted] FEATHERS EVERYWHERE! (Massive synth drop, rapid-fire kick drum barrage) RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! IT'S GAINING SPEED! IT CANNOT BE STOPPED! [Guitar / Synth Solo - Chaotic, Screaming Lead] (Wild, discordant synth arpeggios firing at breakneck speed) (Glitch-spliced percussion overload) [Verse 3] Zig-zagging through the kitchen, sliding on the tile Knocking over dishes in a jagged little pile A blur of brown and grey, a whirlwind of speed Driven by an absolute primal need! No logic, no reason, just pure speed power Demolishing the place by the minute, by the hour! [Chorus] EMU’S ZOOMIES! HOMEMADE TORNADO DESTRUCTION! Ripping through the house with a wild eruption! Twisting, turning, tearing through the hall Knocking down the pictures off the living room wall! EMU’S ZOOMIES! UNSTOPPABLE FORCE! Veering off path, totally off course! Insane, wild, running round and round Bringing the entire building down to the ground! [Outro] Homemade tornado... fading out... Wait, it's turning around! IT'S NOT OVER! (Final massive bass boom) (Feathers settling sound effect) [Spoken - Exhausted] Zoomies terminated. Target is now taking a nap. (System shut down sound)

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