[NTRO (low, seductive, eerie)] [Drunk captain sluthers whispering:] She don’t just float… …she wants… [HONK] [soft female laugh in distance] [Pirate lady 1 vocals:] “Oh she wants, does she…?” ⚓ VERSE 1 [Male Captain vocals, obsessed] Bolted a sousaphone straight to her side, Dude said “Trust me”—I should’ve lied, Now she screams when I give her a squeeze— Loud brass howl beggin’ (female vocal): “MORE, CAPTAIN, PLEASE…” [HONK echoes unnaturally] 🍺 VERSE 2 [Female pirate 2 vocals, amused/teasing] You call that a boat? Sounds more like a bed, All that honkin’ goin’ straight to yer head, But I heard that noise from across the bay— Got me curious… in a dangerous way… 🐔 VERSE 3 [drunk male vocals, pirate idiot out of tune] Killed twenty chickens for “power” they said, Now she clucks in me dreams while I’m drunk in me bed, Feathers in the water, blood on me boots— She gets real happy when I do stupid pursuits! [background pirate angry vocals] WHY’S IT CLUCKIN’ AGAIN?! 🎶 CHORUS [full crew vocals, 3 males and 3 females, loud + messy] PIMP MY TUG—SHE’S LOUD AND RUDE! HONKS SO HARD IT SHAKES THE MOOD! FROM CHICKEN CURSE TO BRASSY LUST— THIS DAMN BOAT IS GETTING MA ROOD!! PIMP MY TUG—SHE BITES, SHE BEGS! BLOODY TURRETS SHOT OUR OWN DAMN LEGS!! IF SHE KILLS US—FAIR ENOUGH— WE SIGNED UP FOR A GOD DAMN TUG!! 🐺 VERSE 4 [female vocal , darker tone] Fifty heads in bags, you call that charm? Hang ‘em on a lady, she’ll do you harm… Now she drives herself down cargo lanes— Autonav mistress with a taste for pain… [female vocal 1, quiet sexy whisper] stay on me…” 🚁 VERSE 5 [cocky female pirate vocal 4] You strapped a minicopter tight on her back? Locked it in place with that cursed latch? She flies and floats—greedy little queen— Won’t let you leave once you’ve seen what I’ve seen… 💀 VERSE 6 [male vocal, pirate manic drunk} Mixed spoiled meat till it burned me eyes— Wolf and chicken in a rotten surprise, Dude sniffed once and said “That’ll do!” Now she spits torpedoes when I look at you!! [EXPLOSION] [angry drunk slithering pirate male vocal] “WHO BUILT A WALL OUTTA TORPEDOES AGAIN?!” 🍻 🍑 BREAKDOWN [DRUNK DIALOGUE] [music drops low, slow sway] [Drunk Male Pirate vocals]: Aye… she’s got a heavy back end… real dangerous… Loves it when I… push her full speed… [Pirate Lady grinning vocals]: Mm… bold words for a man that smells like propane and regret… [Drunk Male Pirate vocals]: She’s explosive too… touch the wrong spot—BOOM! Learned that the hard way… [Pirate Lady sexy vocal]: Careful now… You keep talkin’ like that… I might think you’re describin’ me… [Drunk Male pirate vocal]: [LAUGH] Well… you don’t honk half as pretty… [Pirate Lady 2]: [LAUGH] Give it time, sailor… I get loud when handled right. [crew erupts, 5 male pirates}: oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOHHHHH!! - HE’S IN TROUBLE! 💣 VERSE 7 [crew chaos, all sings] Looted tanks—hundreds, maybe more, Stuffed ‘em full, now she drops ‘em aft and fore, Mines in the water, mines on the deck— Half the crew’s gone and we’re still a wreck!! 🧸 VERSE 8 – [female vocal, softer but twisted] You cried for Flufferson, soft little thing, Stole him back from pirates, tied him with string, She went quiet… then gave a sigh— Like she knew you’d come back… or die… 🏦 VERSE 9 [drunkl male pirate vocals:] Down in the silo, red light glow, Grabbed them plans from the depths below, Cracked that bank with a honk and grin— Now we build on water like it’s a sin… 🏗️ VERSE 10 [female 3 vocal, powerful] Barge on the sea, 3 by 2 delight, Cabin so cursed you don’t sleep at night, She holds it all—your loot, your pride— And won’t let another woman inside… 🎶 FINAL CHORUS [crew, huge, desperate, chaotic, ALL sings] PIMP MY TUG—SHE OWNS MY SOUL!! FROM SILO DEPTHS TO BANK WE STOLE!! HEADS AND MINES AND ROTTEN LOVE— AIN’T NO ESCAPIN’ THIS TWISTED TUG!! PIMP MY TUG—SHE SCREAMS MY NAME!! HONK AND FIRE AND FILTH AND FLAME!! IF I SINK—DON’T PULL ME UP— I’M RIGHT WHERE I BELONG… WITH MY TUG!! ⚓ OUTRO [quiet, eerie, seductive] [waves, wood creaking] [Female vocal, soft, close]: You comin’ back…? …or you leavin’ me…? [long paus] [HONK] [HONK]
