My Shell's Got a Handle, It's a Suitcase

[Verse] I remember being a kid, I could fall asleep content. All my dreams were lucid; I only ever woke in bed. But it’s gotten harder every time, Each morning’s falling through the ice. This body's just a shade of mine; I’m mauled awake instead. [Chorus] I used to like the ocean, But I think I’d vomit there. It reminds me of the notion Of my sentimental despair. I keep flashing back to the notion Of being like those good old days. I’m a turtle with nowhere to swim, They tell me. [Verse] Drag my old soul to the sea; My brain just keeps on exploring. No more hapless honesty; Youthful thoughts were so boring. A sleep mask can’t block these sights; The moment I shut my eyes. My shell’s got a handle; It’s a suitcase. It weighs me down all day, Tells me I’m maladjusted, I’m ugly and insane. I wear a grand facade, But underwater’s the truth of me. [Pre-Chorus] They say that turtle is the only thing I can’t be, But I want to swim. [Chorus] I used to like the ocean, But I think I’d vomit there. It reminds me of the notion Of my sentimental despair. I keep flashing back to the notion Of being like those good old days. I’m a turtle with nowhere to swim, They tell me. [Breakdown] I can’t shed this shell—it’s part of me. The cracks and scars are the truth I see. I’ve been drowning in my own denial, But the tide pulls me forward mile by mile. The ocean knows my name; It doesn’t care for my shame. It holds me up, it drags me in; This is where I learn to swim. [Outro] I used to hate the ocean, But now it feels like home. The waves remind me I’m still moving, Even when I feel alone.