I saw a boy I used to know Walk through a crowded room. Older now than memory, Changed more than I assumed. I called his name; he turned to me, Our eyes met for a while. Then just as quickly he was gone— And I woke missing his smile. You told me once she lost a child, And something changed that day. She carried on, she lived her life, But never quite the same. I heard the words so long ago; I thought I understood. But some things can't be understood Until you've stood where sorrow stood. I'll never be the same again, And maybe that's all right. Some losses leave their fingerprints On everything that follows life. I'll laugh again, I'll dream again, I'll love with all I am. Healing doesn't take me back— It teaches me to stand As someone new, with all I've known. I'll never be the same again. Mine weren't carried off to heaven; There was no last goodbye. They're living underneath the sun, Beneath this same blue sky. No flowers gathered at a grave, No ending I could name— Just twenty-one still living lives That somehow aren't the same. And maybe that's the hardest part: They're gone and yet they're here. Close enough to dream about, Too far to hold them near. But loving them was never wasted; Those years are still my own. I don't have to lose what mattered Just because I've let them go. I'll never be the same again, And maybe that's all right. Some losses leave their fingerprints On everything that follows life. I'll laugh again, I'll dream again, I'll love with all I am. Healing doesn't take me back— It teaches me to stand As someone new, with all I've known. I'll never be the same again. I thought that healing meant returning, Finding who I used to be. But healing isn't going backward To a life before the grief. I can carry all the memories Without carrying all the pain. I can treasure what they meant to me And never be the same. So I'll put the songs back on the shelf And turn toward what's ahead. Not because the love meant less, Or every tear is shed. There's music still unwritten, There are chapters still unnamed, And the woman walking into them Has every right to change. I'll never be the same again— And I don't need to be. There's so much life still waiting For this different version of me. I'll laugh again, I'll dream again, I'll love with open hands. I didn't find my old life waiting; I found the strength to stand. I'll carry love, but not the weight; I'll carry what remains. And now I think I understand— I'll never be the same.
